Dude... a quick question off the subject for a minute -- do you fuck around online with a webcam? Your screen name is VERY familiar to me...
It seems to me that there might be a few things going on here.
I don't have a lot of time to write at the moment, I have to get my ass to work, so maybe we can get into details later, but...
Are you able to cum when jerking off alone without porn? How about without poppers? If the answer is no, you may need to retrain yourself.
I LOVE poppers and do use them to jerk off, sometimes with porn, sometimes not. Yet I do not always cum when I play with my dick -- I like the deprivation, but that's just me. Yet I can easily get off without either of these things.
It's just that since I DO like them and they are available, I kind of figure "why the hell NOT?"
Porn and poppers make the experience more intense. Nothing wrong with that -- UNLESS you become dependent upon them.
In my curiosity to see why your screen name is familiar to me, I glanced at your profile. It states you are HIV+.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that perhaps you are having difficulty cumming with a partner for this reason. I HAS to be on your mind, yes?
If yes, you need to make SURE your partners know this about you. Not only for the betterment of YOUR sex life, but for THEIR personal protection, obviously.
Also, you may be simply caught in a mental vicious circle. Or you may be feeling too much pressure to perform or produce.
Look, I can't STAND a guy who rushes me to cum. I am aware I take too long for some dudes, but I think a half hour minimum isn't asking for too much. I try to avoid meeting guys who are all about getting to the cum as fast as possible. I don't like being pressured to give it up, or made to feel as if my sperm is the ONLY reason I'm worth sucking.
I know a guy who sucked me off once and did a great job, I blew a huge load for him and he went away happy. He is a cum-freak, but he was also all about making my dick happy. We met a second time and he kept saying over and over during the encounter that he wanted my cum. I felt pressured that I had to give it up RIGHT THEN. The more he kept this up, the harder it was for me to get off. So ultimately, I did NOT get off. Now this dude is unhappy; he didn't get the cum he wanted. Had he just SHUT UP about it and been patient, he would have. These days, he sees me online about every six weeks. He messages me, says he wants to suck me off and eat my cum again, then makes a few more statements about "as long as I get your cum, man," etc. I keep telling him that if he just lets me relax, he WILL get it. But he chickens out every time and signs off. He's so afraid that he or I will "fail" sexually that he won't even try it again -- yet clearly he wants to or he wouldn't keep messaging me.
You need to try to get past the mental block and dependency issues. We can talk about it more later, if you think I'm halfway on track here. I gotta run for now.
Good luck.