I'll try to answer your questions.
".. what are you going to do for HIM?"
The reason I mention only things I'd like have done to me, is because of one of my friends: he keeps telling me I have to mention what I would like to have happen to me, and if a guy is interested, he will let me know, and then he'd let me know what he wants, and if both of us want the same things, then we'd plan a meeting and go from there. My friend also told me not to say anything about how inexperienced I am because guys would find it a turnoff.
"....Did you arrange to meet in a non-sexual setting and "get to know" each other, with the standard "no hard feelings" rule in effect if one or both of you decided there was no attraction?..."
The first one I met in a public park. We talked a while and realized we had a fettish in common. I did mention to him that I am new, and he had me help him with moving. His s/o came around for a bit, and they nuzzled each other. (I met up with him 2 times: the first time was when we met in the park, and the second time is when I helped him move into his new apartment)After that, I would e-mail him and see when we could meet again, but he always was busy.
The second one I met up with, I met at his place. I found out after getting there, that it was a worker at where I worked. While it was a bit uncomfortable (since he worked at the same place as I did, I gave it a shot). First we started with a conversation which ended up going on the topic of my genital piercings - - which lead to him starting to suck my cock.
Only one problem: he never told me he expected his landlord over to repair something. So, while he is sucking, there is a knock at his door, and it spooked the hell out of me (as it did him) and I quickly ran into the other room and got dressed. So, the landlord come in and has to work on something, and I was totally spooked and out of the mood, and since the landlord was going to be there for a while, we both decided it was time for me to go. We never hooked up again: he never asked me, and if he ever would have, I would be hesitatant because I would always feel like someone was going to barge in.
Neither time was sex implied: it was more that we'd meet and go from there.
".....We can defend your piercings and say "fuck anyone who doesn't like it," but you wouldn't have mentioned it if you hadn't given some thought as to IF this played a part in your being rejected... "
I always make a pont of mentioning all of my piercings(and that I have tattoos) before I go any further, and before I meet someone. (that is another thing that same friend of mine told me to do)
Many years ago, some friends of mine kept telling me that the only way I'd ever get a date is if I took out all my piercings. There are times I get self conscious about them (especially when I start looking around at guys on those dating/meeting sites and find that trying to locate a guy with piercings (or is accepting of piercings) is like looking for a needle in a haystack. I never used to think piercings/tattoos were an issue until I moved to this small town, where I have had on more than one occasion, had people give me grief over my piercings. (I may get self conscious about my piercings, but I would still rather have them)
".....Ohio has plenty of major cities, and it just so happens that they are scattered more or less VERY evenly across the state. You MUST be close to at least one of them. ...."
I am about an hour away from Dayton, which is the large city around here. (I don't normally go to Columbus: I have had nothing but bad luck trying to navigate that city)
One of the problems I have with going out of the area and drivng a few hours, is making sure I have a place to stay for a while. (I drove 3 hours to this one bar, and while I did enjoy being there, I had to remember that I had to drive 3 hours to get back. For me, that becomes expensive (when you try to do that every weekend), as well as very tiring too, because you either have to drive home that same night, or you have to spend some more money to try and rent a hotel room for the night.
".....If you DID share a photo -- if they knew what you looked like -- again... what REASON did they give for rejecting sexual contact?
..."
Again, that same friend told me to make sure to post a pic up. I have done that, and we did exchange photos. And I mentioned the 2 different situations already in this reply. (I havent posted a pic here yet becasue I am waiting until my sunburn is cleared up)
" ....Being in the closet does NOT mean a guy is also celibate. It CAN, however, be a nifty excuse to use to justify one's own inaction, know what I mean?...."
I moved away from relatives 2 years ago, mainly to keep them out of my business and to start fresh. Until moving, I had to be almost like a secret agent when trying to hook up with a guy. Now, I can do it when I want to, without having to deal with narrowminded relatives.
"......Everyone likes different types of men. Whatever you look like, there IS someone out there who will be into you regardless of your piercings and tats (if this is even an issue at all). You can't force anyone to have sex with you, and you can't take it TOO personally when you don't score each and every time......"
I think I do take it too personally if I don't "click"with a guy. I become self-conscious of myself and think that there is something wrong with me that causes guys not to want to be around or with me.
".....Did you make a move on these guys? Did you SUGGEST anything to them, or were you waiting for THEM to offer sex FIRST? You didn't say... "
There is a reason I am still a virgin, and it is because I do not know when or what to say to make a move. I have to find a way to know when it is a good time (or mood) to make a move, and how to make a move.
Then, there are these other things... I have seen guys putting their hands down other guy's pants, or having a guy grab your cock while you are standing around (neither of these things happenned to me -- though I wish they had) What is that all about? Is that common, and should that be something I should try? (I'd be worried I'd get punched - but if it is something common and acceptable, I'd give it a try)
".....And... um... an INFLATABLE butt plug? I have never seen one of those. Can you take it to the beach and use it for a flotation device? Hmmm... I guess just make sure you clean the valve-stem before you put your lips on the thing to blow it up, right?....
lol
here is the page:
http://www.mr-s-leather.com/shopping...Find&item=R412
The one in the center of that picture is the one I have. I like to inflate it up and just leave it inside me for as long as I can handle it. While it may not be a big plug, I like it (and hope one day to get another type plug: maybe one that has a harness so it stays in on its own, and is longer and wider(so it takes more to remove it from my butt)
Thanks