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CRUISING for SEX - View Single Post - A child of Privilage
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Old 27th September 2004, 02:03 PM
Int2ectual
Cruiser
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 22
looks and love

i initilly hesitated replying to this thread because it just sounded a little whine-y to me. 'i'm so handsome, why can't i find an equally handsome partner.' then scruffy gave a good reply. still i think i'll put in my 2 cents worth.

looks have nothing to do with it.

for many years i found myself attracted to men who would never make a commitment and who treated me badly. guess what i figured out what about those guys was attractive and ai learned to find that in men who would be nice to me. you could say that i expanded my range. that doesn't mean the new men were not handsome or attractive (now i think of them as MORE attractive).

attractiveness for me can always be killed when i first talk to a new guy i meet. does he have a brain? what are his values? the most desirable guy ceases to be so if he fails that test.

marco seems to be be caught in the body/spirit division that has plagued western thinking since Plato. look at the whole person, then decide. if you give off the vibe that only the physical creme de la creme are acceptable, then many good looking men write you off their list. that is a message that many guys send when out cruising and lots of those guys go home alone at the end of the night. life is too short not to take chances. talk to everyone. it doesn't obligate you to go home with them. people who like people meet more people. aloof is often the cause for alone.

i was at a party yesterday and someone asked me what it was like to be an exceptionally handsome man. i told him i didn't know because i never thought of myself in those terms. when i was in my 20s many people wanted to hit on my looks who had no interest in me as a person. i rejected them fast (regardless of how good looking they may have been). i can think of no famous person to compare myself to but i know i am well above average in looks. we are a gender that responds to visual signs and looks will always be important. it sounds to me as though marco really wants the whole package--looks and personality but it continues to make a choice based on only one of the criteria.

finding a partner is tough for everyone. choosing one based on looks alone is not likely to be a sucessful approach. Give the world your person-hood as well as your looks SND look for both in others. you will find what you seek.
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