Three REALLY quick points to add, sparked by the post above:
1) Maybe, just MAYBE, it is a TINY bit harsh to give Marco a label of "whiny," though I will agree completely that his post can be construed in that way. To be perfectly honest... I haven't figured out the guy myself. I based a LOT of what I wrote on things Marco has said directly to ME in response to posts of my own. Seems to me he is dead set on having a relationship and isn't much into random sex with strangers. So I tried to gear my comments to that preconceived notion, assuming it is indeed correct. I DO agree, however -- whether or not there is any whiny kind of "poor, poor me" in there or not... having CONFIDENCE and being true to your desires without sacrificing your own morals is very important. Complaining about a situation won't do you any good -- ACTING on it is the only option. And sometimes, NOT acting at all IS, in fact, the best possible course of action!
One of my all-time favorite bits of wisdom comes from Dalai Lama:
"If you are worried about something and you can do something about it, there is no need to worry. If you are worried about something and you cannot do something about it, there is no need to worry!"
2) Beauty ALSO comes from within, but there needs to be a physical sexual attraction as well if we expect a long-lasting relationship to work. We can compromise a LITTLE on either side of the equation, but never to the extent that we feel unsatisfied with what we have.
More importantly, and quite KEY, I think: beauty is also completely subjective. It's quite possible I might look at Marco or the above poster and not find a single thing about either of them sexually attractive -- and they may look at me and feel the same. I've had other men tell me I am handsome, but I also don't see that about myself. And the type of guy I find most beautiful is usually NOT what TV and movies and billboards promote as the epitome of a beautiful man.
DECLARING yourself as "handsome" is fine. Good for the ego, too, as long as you can temper that and not get carried away, believing you are "too good" for anyone else. You might be surprised to find that some folks out there do NOT see you as beautiful or handsome AT ALL. So... go ahead, feed that ego, it gets hungry and needs nourishment... just don't over-indulge and get all bloated and arrogant. I think that's sound advice for all of us, myself included.
3) SEEKING that which you desire can lead to disappointment from time to time. We MUST realize this and accept it. But we should NEVER stop looking for what we want and need on a personal level. In the end, all you have at the moment you die is whatever you've made out of your own life. You MUST strive and you must TRY and you need to find happiness in whatever way suits you best, as long as it is never at the expense of the happiness of others.
But at the same time... if you put too much effort into the chase, if you struggle too hard with the failures that ultimately result from TRYING to find your dreams -- you will continue to fail over and over. You're going to project your failures and your defeats onto other people, you're going to start placing blame on yourself or on someone else, and sometimes there is TRULY NO ONE to blame.
You cannot ACTIVELY campaign for something so fragile as the love of another human being. This is something that will COME to you when you are ready and receptive. And it will NEVER come if you pout and allow yourself to be miserable, wallowing in self-pity and/or believing you DESERVE something any more than anyone else does.
Putting it simply, which is not always easy for me to do:
Sit back and enjoy the ride. Life is what it is. Some of it you can change, some you cannot. You may have a beat-up piece of shit vehicle and can't afford a shiny new one. So you change the oil, you keep the tires inflated, you wash it and wax it and make it look as good as you can. You keep an emergency road kit in the trunk... just in case you need it. And then you get in the fucking thing and GET OUT THERE on the road. ENJOY the scenery as it passes. Stop now and then, get out, stretch your legs and appreciate what's around you on a much more intimate level. MAYBE you'll find a place where you want to STAY. Or maybe you'll get back in and drive away again. But you sure won't forget what you've seen, and you at least have that.
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