OK, don't get too hard on yourself here.
First of all, some people ARE going to give a shit about your thoughts. Many of us will have the same ones. How you deal with those thoughts is what makes you who you are.
In your previous post (Child of priveledge) you talked about being good looking and asking if that is an advantage or not (at least that is what I got out of your post). As you have already seen, looks can be both an advantage and a disadvantage.
The real question is "How do you turn fantasy into reality?" You seem to make clear now that your fantasy is have a partner to share your life with. What many men find is that fantasy is just that—fantasy. Once the fantasy has been fulfilled, it is completed and abandoned. If you feel that your looks are simply fulfilling someone's fantasy this can really be getting in the way of you completing your fantasy. This is both because you cannot be sure that the person is with you because of who you are or because of how you look.
Looks are the primary part of attraction. If someone finds you physically attractive, this is the start of someone wanting to be with you, yes even the beginning of a relationship. Some people find it easier to find relationships by dating. Meaning connecting with someone through friends or in a public setting and then doing things together that are not instant sex. Other relationships have been formed from what the two partys expected would only be a one-night stand.
The best way to find someone to spend your life with is to be the type of person who you would spend your life with. Still go about your life and try to meet people in whatever setting you are comfortable with. Have the sex you are comfortable with. Realize that meeting a person in a cruising zone does not mean you are both forever cruisers. A few meaningful relationships have come from cruising spots. Just be clear up front once you couple up that both parties have the same expectations. Will cruising continue or will you be committed to each other only?
Don't let your fantasy (or your expectations of his fantasy) get in the way of your reality. Use it to your favor. Learn to yearn for your fantasy. And if you are part of his fantasy, and want him to be your long-term partner, help him realize that his fantasy can be a long-term reality.
You don't have to choose looks over experience, or looks over compatiblity. You really can find it all. As long as you realize that some people get better looking the more you know them, and some people become more compatible the longer you are around them, you are on the right track.
Good luck. Love yourself first and it makes it easier for someone else to love you.
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