Are you still here?
Just kidding. There's no time limit on responses, and frankly... all conversations have to end sometime.
Since we've pretty much covered Gaydom from top to bottom (pun intended) here, this will be short.
Sure, I think it's a good idea to maybe characterize yourself as versatile and then take it from there with a more detailed discussion as each situation warrants.
I also think it's wise to simply be cautious in more public-type areas. For some, the thrill of possibly being caught adds to the excitement. For others, privacy and safety make for a hotter time. I've enjoyed both aspects of this: now and then, a more risky area can be a lot of fun, but I also love to be able to relax more and get into it without any worry. So... as I often suggest... maybe a little of each. Or stick with whatever works for you.
As far as bad encounters I've had... Well, I'm not sure if this is actually as common as I suspect it is, if I simply have some really bad luck, or if I am so fucking fussy about what another guy does to my dick that I more or less create less than satisfying encounters all by myself. Probably a little bit of everything.
But I don't think it's anything to worry about, overall. Bad sex happens. So does great sex. Sometimes... NO sex! For me, even the really bad encounters have their own sort of... um... charm, I guess. Mostly because I get to laugh about it later. And quite frankly, sometimes the sheer stupidity of some guys is fascinating to me. Though I often enjoy complaining about idiocy, I must admit that life would get rather boring without it! So just put a smile on your face and accept whatever happens, even if that smile is only visible to you in your rear-view mirror as you race away as fast as you can from a really awful experience!
A good cache of ready-to-roll excuses isn't a bad idea, though sometimes it can be a fun challenge to come up with something spontaneous and on the fly. I'll admit that I've dipped into bag of a few standard excuses from time to time, when it seems like I just can't be bothered with something new and creative. But since you said you like to keep yourself honest, that's a great idea. Truth be told, I like to be as honest as I can, too. Yet I also don't go out of my way to hurt someone's feelings. More often than not, I simply say: "Let's take raincheck and finish this up another time." It's implied that there will NEVER be another time, but we both save face that way. Or else: "This just isn't working out for me tonight. I think I'm too tired. I'm sorry." This gets the point across without deviating from the truth all that much.
That whole prostate thing isn't my area of expertise, I'm afraid. I know WHERE it is, I know how it feels when a guy massages my own prostate properly, I know what it does in the male body, all of that. But I think it's actually a bit more esoteric than just facts and physiological response.
I've had guys do an AWFUL job in this arena. There's some sort of way they touch a prostate that keeps a dick limp. You've probably seen this in porn films. Other times, they do something very RIGHT and can get a dick harder than hell. Still other times it's good for a while but eventually too much sensation kind of dulls things to the point of little sensation. Sometimes motion is good, sometimes it's nice to have just a steady pressure.
So I don't know, dude. I used to give my ex prostate massages all the time. Since he was one of the few and only men I've met who did NOT like to be sucked off, this was the only way to get him off if I wanted some dick. It seemed to work, and he never told me I was doing anything incorrectly, so I guess I was OK at it. I've done it for a few other guys since him, too, and also had no complaints, though this means nothing: some guys may have hated it but simply kept their mouth shut. When a guy does it to ME... sometimes it rocks, sometimes not.
It DOES seem, at least for me, that TOO much continuous massage can mess things up. Either losing some erection and not being as hard as I was to start, or else becoming overly stimulated and losing sensation. It also makes a difference for ME as to WHERE a guy focuses his attention on my dick if he's massaging my prostate at the same time. For example, if I start out soft and a dude messes with JUST the head of my dick and my prostate, I hate it. Feels like torture. If he strokes my dick and gets me nice and hard and takes his time, THEN he can work on the head. But that's just me, I imagine. Your results may vary.
And certainly while I have no objection to toys and playing at home and experimentation in general, I think the consensus out there is that it is always hotter if someone else is doing that for you and with you.
So have fun, play safe, keep your gas tank full in case you need to make a getaway, and by all means: be yourself, just as you want to be.
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