I've been poz for six months now and my wife is a saint, but that is another story.
My doctor, who reads all the literature and attends many conferences (he even took his nurse to the last one) has advised me that oral is safe. Yet he cautions me not to cum in my wife's mouth and for her to rinse with listerine. So even he knows it is only "safer", not safe. We use condoms for other sex.
Yes, I am "healthy", my viral load was undetectable the last test. However, that only means it is less than 50 copies per ml of blood, below the ability of the test to detect it. Might have been 0 (unlikely), might have been 45 copies. Besides, it was only good for the day it was drawn. Viral load can go up and down for a variety of reasons, getting my flu shot being a reason to go up(called a blip). On top of that, there have been no studies (that I can find) which have proven that viral load (vl) in the blood stream corillates to vl in other body fluids (mucus, semen, lymph, etc).
I've learned a lot about HIV in the last six months, but have a lot yet to learn. I found thebody web site useful, but much of it is dated. Even year old information is dated when it comes to HIV. A very good site I have found is
www.TPAN.com, much more up to date. There you can find info on new medcations under study, and dare I say it, a cure (off topic here, some researchers think they may have found where the virus hides in the body and if so, they can attack it there or get it to "come out" in the open where it will be vulnurable to attack. Keeping my fingers crossed, but many years down the road).
Bottom line is you must protect yourself, DO NOT TRADE BODY FLUIDS WITH ANYONE!!