Though I don't have time right now to browse the ads and cite humorous examples, I most certainly do read them for the entertainment value.
Yet by the same token I frequently go for long periods of time without browsing the ads BECAUSE of some of the ludicrous stuff I find in them.
I guess it depends on my mood: am I able to feel bemused and laugh at that which is outrageous, or am I more likely at the moment to get annoyed with pretentious pipe-dreams?
Seems like there are three different, popular trends when it comes to online ads:
1) Specificity beyond all reason: "I am looking for a white male, age 23 to 31, clean shaven, at least five foot nine but no taller than six foot, with dark hair, blue eyes, five to seven inch dick, virgin ass, size 9 to 11 shoe (no larger, no smaller), boy-next-door look, straight acting but who enjoys the gay scene, must be Protestant or Episcopalian, light to moderate body hair, must have all his wisdom teeth still in place and must also have his tonsils, should enjoy beer and wine but not mixed drinks or hard liquors, non-smoker but a little crystal meth on weekends is OK, no Ab and Fitch guys but Eddie Bauer is good, must not have a cat or capuchin monkey as I am allergic to them.
2) Generalization which surpasses comprehension: "Let's fuck at my place this weekend while my wife and live-in mother-in-law are out of town. Email me. I don't have a photo. I want to fuck you raw." (No personal information included whatsoever.)
3) Fakes, flakes and closet-cases: "I have never had sex with a man and I'm very, very, very nervous about it. I think I might throw up if I got close to an erect penis, but I can't stop thinking about how much I want to suck one of those. I need a gentle, kind, compassionate and PATIENT man to teach me the ropes. What I mean by this is that I have no intention of ever meeting you nor anyone else, but I want you to send me at least half a dozen hopeful emails so I can masturbate while reading them before I chicken out and close my Hotmail account and you never hear from me again. Won't that be fun?"
For entertainment purposes -- the ads are great. For getting your dick off -- eh. Not so much.
I've had luck with meeting exactly ONE man that was genuine (and a hot cocksucker, too) from online ads in all the years I've been cruising the net. EVERY other time I've tried I've gotten absolutely nothing for my efforts -- or ended up meeting a goof. This includes both responding to and placing ads of my own.
I think a lot of dudes place ads believing that they can state their ultimate fantasy and it will come true because this is, after all, THE INTERNET, and magic happens here -- or something. Or else they believe they can say practically NOTHING in their ads but will STILL get their fantasy to come true ALSO because this is THE INTERNET and magic happens here. The flakes, fakes and closet cases... well, we already know whey THEY'RE here.
Chat rooms are full of the same bullshit, but at least it's easier to weed out the nut-jobs in a shorter time-frame which does not usually include having to send emails back and forth for a couple weeks. Chat rooms also tend to have about a hundred dudes hanging out at any given time so there are more opportunities to blow off the assholes and find a guy who is SERIOUS about getting down and dirty RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
I get a lot of action from chat rooms, but I have to say... I always enjoy face to face cruising much more. LATELY... it's been OUTSTANDING. I tried local area gay chat while here in Buffalo and found the same, tired scene as back home. But at least here there are lots of bookstores for me to haunt. I am happy to report that I have not had to jerk off even ONCE since I got here, which is great because jerking off in your parents' home is just kind of creepy. I have only left a bookstore one time without getting any sex and this was because I couldn't find a single dude I was into even a little bit. But every other time... well, it hasn't been a problem.
I DO wish CFS would consider restructuring the online ads back to a simpler browsing method. I really don't like the overly-organized system which is now in place. I'd love to look at the ads again at my leisure -- scroll down a single column, read the headlines, etc. Just wanted to mention that.
Have a good holiday, guys.
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