Poor Corey!
We always fuck up his threads!
I have to include myself in that, too -- I've turned the conversation around in different directions a few times. For some reason, it always seems to be Corey's threads where this happens rather often. Maybe he should consider it a compliment; his topics spur synchronistic thought patterns and stimulated synapses...
Yeah, OK... that's a leap, but it was kind of funny.
Since we are on the topic of labels and identity, I may as well say something, too:
To my way of thinking, it is our own individual INNER PEACE AND HAPPINESS that matters most.
I find myself agreeing (as usual) with GWT: for me, being gay is like having green eyes or a hairy chest or any number of things that are not directly controlled by making personal decisions. I am who I am.
I often find myself disagreeing with the way others "handle" their own sexuality. I am also not a fan of "in your face" activism nor do I fully comprehend queenish theatrics and flamboyant affectations. I disassociate myself from these types of behavior and political attitudes because I do not wish to live my life in that way (nor would I be even remotely capable of doing so). I try my best to view the world as objectively as I can while at the same time understanding when I insert my own subjective views into any given situation (I think that's about all anyone can do). This is what makes ME happy. Therefore, if OTHERS are happy by being who THEY are, even if their behavior is unappealing to me, so be it. As long as they aren't hurting anyone else -- they can "act" in any way they want to act.
It's important to be happy with who you are -- and that's a simple statement with profound implications for all of us.
Everyone deals with their sexuality in a different way. Even straight folks have to "deal" with their sexuality. Just because MOST of the world is straight doesn't mean that all straight people have no sexual issues at all. Sexuality is a HUGE part of life and can be very confusing, especially in cultures where sexual development throughout history has been stigmatized.
If some gay folks "deal" with their sexuality by bonding in activist groups or by displaying "in your face" behavior -- that's fine. They are doing what they need to do in order to cope. At least this is my belief. Strength in numbers, peer bonding, all of that. Other gay folks feel safer in some sort of closet. Still others just live their lives and whatever will be will be (no Doris Day jokes, please).
To attach all of this to the topic at hand is easy -- we see examples of ALL different types of behaviors and means of coping with sexual identity in the PERSONAL ADS.
Clearly, you guys can see that for yourselves and I need not cite case by case examples. We've all read the ads and have discerned for ourselves that this or that person who is posting an ad is probably or possibly this or that TYPE of person. It's easy to tell a closet case from a flamboyant homosexual when reading an ad -- at least MOST of the time it is. The internet provides plenty of opportunity for mind-games and imagined personas, as we also all know.
BMG has oft-spoke of gays as being "second-class citizens." I sure cannot speak FOR him, but it was always my understanding that what he is saying is that we are PERCEIVED and TREATED as such by many other members of society world-wide and in various cultures. I do NOT believe he is saying we ARE, in fact, second-class citizens by our own doing or that we should FEEL as though we are. I always thought he was discussing our imposed societal role -- or at the very least the imposed societal role that is attempted to be placed upon us by those who DO view us as "lesser" human beings.
To an extent, I agree with this. We ARE treated differently far more often than we should be. There are, without question, those who see us as filthy, degenerates, perverts -- even equating us with animals (gay marriage: "next thing someone will want to marry a goat or a horse").
In my own personal life, I find very little need to "cope" with my sexuality in any specific way. Though I guess I DO "cope" just by being myself, if you want to define my behavior in that way, although I personally do not. I just live my life as I always have lived my life. I don't face some of the challenges that some other gay people must face on a day to day basis. I am not "flaming" and not easily discernible as being gay when I'm out in public. In this way, I cannot truly understand what it is like for those who ARE obviously gay. I imagine they must face many challenges that I do not. So I can't berate them for dealing with their lives in whatever way they see fit; nor should they berate me for living my own life as I see fit. Right?
Live and let live. Be happy. Be YOURSELF.
And learn to write better personal ads, for crying out loud!
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