I think you gotta want it. If you really want to have a guy push his schlong into you, your ass will open up to receive it.
A little mental-amputation might help too. Poppers have often been touted on this board as a way to receive a cock, often larger ones.
Other social lubricants can help too, but if you're looking to play safe, be careful that you don't lose your head so much that you compromise your values.
Be sure to use plenty of lube, whether it's a finger or a cock. The ass does not generate its own lubricant, so be generous.
Finally, you made need to relax your muscles. Bear down as if you were on the commode when the cock/finger/butt plug/dildo begins the assault. By opening your ass you will be meeting your top half way instead of letting him do all the work.
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