This is a tough social problem for gay men on the sexual playing field, but we are getting better at it I think. Obviously, the young man did not disclose his status to Chevo because of the social stigma attached to HIV and the fear that he'd lose Chevo's interest, which, ultimately happened. It sure wasn't that he forgot about it. Being a peer of Chevo's, early 20's etc., he hasn't had enough life experience to deal with something so volatile in a morally sound way that's comfortable for him and his future partners. This is an issue that needs attention in our outreach and education to young people, poz or neg.
I don't agree that guys who are not engaging in any kind of sexual activity need to disclose their status. However, there's nothing wrong with asking the guy you're on a date with what his status is. That's part of risk management, we can only be responsible for ourselves so asking right up front is a good place to start with that. We need to keep in mind however, that a negative result is only good fromthe time the blood was drawn until the next sexual encounter you have. This moral dilemma can get even more complicated as a negative guy could tell his sex partner his last test was neg, but fail to tell him that three nights later he had unprotected intercourse. So, also asking if your parnter practices safe sex all the time is another question to add to the list as part of risk management.
This situation takes work for everyone involved. Guys who are positive need to find a way that they can disclose their status comfortably without fear of social outcast, and negative guys need to develop respect and have discretion for guys who disclose their positive status to them.
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