Though I would generally agree with most part of the posting, unfortunately from talking to others and my own experiences the asshole do stretch quite visibly from frequent use. You can tell if someone is a frequent bottom just by looking down there. We all know that. That is why it is pointless trying to act coy by saying "I don't normally do this but ..."

But the tightness do return somewhat after months of inaction. More than just the neural connection, the pleasure connection makes it difficult to leave it unused for so long. Hence the stretching continues.

Those ass clenching exercises don't really tighten it up much. But it does increase the controls one has during sex .

So I'll say that those dildo foreplays are only needed for new bottoms or those experimenting. But once you get "it" and want "it", even the pain of "slam it in" penetration became associated with the expected pleasures that's soon to come.
However, not all men react that way even after much experimenting which I suspect would be your case. For those of us who do, we can't switch it on and off like you do. We need it bad.

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