Although I've been having sex with guys since I was 15, I'm fairly new to getting fucked. I had tried it numerous times over the years and never found it enjoyable. That changed recently when I hooked up with a guy who really showed me how good it can feel. I do have a couple of questions though. A couple of months ago, when a guy was fucking me, he said he was "though the ring" now. What is he talking about? What is "the ring"? My ass is still really tight so a guy fucking me really has to take it slow at first. Also, last time I got fucked, the guy used a butt plug or small dildo (I really wasn't in a good positon to see) in my ass before he put his cock in me. Does this make it easier and more comfortable for a newbie to get fucked? It did seem to make it easier for me to take his cock after he used the toys in me.

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Ring is usually a term used for the muscles which tightly close your anus or love chute in this case. An experienced Top dude knows that he needs to pass thru that ring without brutally forcing his way thru and causing you an immense amount of pain.

Most likely, one of the reasons, you did not enjoy getting fucked in the past was that the top guys lacked the patience to work their way through properly.

Dildos and butt plugs + some other toys might be useful in helping you relax and loosen the muscles for the forthcoming intrusion. Yeah, and plenty of lube, goes without saying.

Enjoy and feel free to ask more, if you want to.

KD

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The "ring" refers to the sphincter muscle surrounding the opening to the anus. The sphincter muscle is very elastic for the purpose of having a bowel movement. However, when used for the purpose of receptive anal intercourse, a certain amount of pain and discomfort may be initially experienced because the highly concentrated mass of nerves located in the muscle ring are being stretched beyond their normal relaxed state or condition.

Most of us are probably well acquainted with having a particularly difficult and painful bowel movement. The pain and discomfort associated with a particularly difficult bowel movement is the stretching of the sphincter muscle beyond its normal state or condition.

Initially, when a person experiences receptive anal intercourse, there is usually some discomfort or pain if the sphincter muscle has not been stretched sufficiently to accomodate the size of a dildoe, butt plug or penis. Once sufficiently stretched, the nerves in the sphincter muscle become desensitized which allows for the muscle to relax and stretch in accomodating a dildoe, butt plug, penis or --- even a hand (fisting)! The latter is not for the faint of heart. Lots of lubrication means less friction and ease of penetration.

When done correctly, receptive anal intercouse can be most pleasurable once the sphincter muscle has been sufficiently stretched because the mass of nerves in the muscle have become desensitized, allowing for the sensation of pleasure to replace what would ordinarily be a painful if not uncomfortable experience. We should also point out that males who frequently engage in receptive anal sex tend to have a very elastic sphincter muscle whereas those who only occasionally engage in it have a less elastic sphincter. Lastly, if you go for very long periods of time (months or years) without engaging in receptive anal sex, the sphincter muscle will usually return to its normal state or condition of elasticity for bowel movements.

That's pretty much it. Just remember that no two people are the same, so their experiences will not be similar. Having said that and assuming you take the necessary precautions about having safe sex, having receptive anal sex can be a most pleasurable experience if it is done correctly and you are sufficiently prepared for the experience. It can even be a regular aspect of your sexuality if you are mentally and physically prepared for the experience.

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Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. And, under a just God, cannot long retain it.

-- Abraham Lincoln

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Yep, using a dildo helps stretch yourself out to be fucked, especially if you can control the entry speed to avoid pain.

I have always used the term "ring" because when you are the top, it feels just like your dick is popping through a tight ring when it enters the asshole. Usually it is wise for the top to stop and hold still until your muscle has accomodated his dick. Then he can start thrusting slowly to insert his dick the rest of the way (backing off slightly and going back in to release any skin tension)

My theory is that experienced bottoms do NOT become more elastic, but they develop a neural connection that allows them to open up their assholes as easily as the asshole opens up when you take a shit.

I talked with a medical neurologist who confirmed that there is a nerve just inside the rectum and when this nerve is pressed by your shit coming down, it will trigger the asshole muscle to relax and open up wide to let the shit out. You can also access this nerve by fingering.

He also told me that there were a complicated set of nerves that cause the anal area to change blood flow when you are sufficiently turned on. He said these blood flows can get screwed up sometimes and make it painful to even take a shit.

Apparently these blood flow changes make it easier to push through the asshole without pain. I suspect experienced bottoms learn to trigger these nerves without realizing they are doing so.

I think that with enough practice, you can develop a new neural connection that associates a dick probing around outside your asshole with the brain message that tells the asshole to relax and open up.

I believe this because even though I do not fuck more than once a month, when I am by myself I can spit on my fingers and stimulate my asshole just right so that it relaxes and opens up. When this happens, I can almost instantly put three fingers in without pain. I am sure that if some guy was fucking me he would think I was loose in this case. However, I have found few guys who can stimulate me this good. (Although I know a proctologist who can enter so easily you can't tell he did it).

If I don't stimulate my ass just right, no amount of lube will allow me to insert my finger without pain. Therefore, I believe the muscle is still tight and just not ready to be fucked.

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An excellent book on this topic, among others, is Anal Pleasure and Health -- I got my copy on amazon. I'm sure its available elsewhere.

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Though I would generally agree with most part of the posting, unfortunately from talking to others and my own experiences the asshole do stretch quite visibly from frequent use. You can tell if someone is a frequent bottom just by looking down there. We all know that. That is why it is pointless trying to act coy by saying "I don't normally do this but ..."

But the tightness do return somewhat after months of inaction. More than just the neural connection, the pleasure connection makes it difficult to leave it unused for so long. Hence the stretching continues.

Those ass clenching exercises don't really tighten it up much. But it does increase the controls one has during sex .

So I'll say that those dildo foreplays are only needed for new bottoms or those experimenting. But once you get "it" and want "it", even the pain of "slam it in" penetration became associated with the expected pleasures that's soon to come.
However, not all men react that way even after much experimenting which I suspect would be your case. For those of us who do, we can't switch it on and off like you do. We need it bad.

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Plastic surgeons know that human skin is very strechable and they often insert special balloons under the skin to stretch it out to create more skin for use elsewhere.

So I would agree that somebody could stretch out their asshole skin by inserting large objects frequently. Skin will stetch and will not always return to its previous state.

I would also guess that somebody could damage their asshole muscle in a manner that would make it very loose. Wether by nerve damage or tearing of the muscle.

However, if you only insert dicks in your asshole that are no bigger than a normal shit, and you make sure the asshole muscle is relaxed properly, I do not see how this would stretch the skin or damage the asshole muscle anymore than taking a shit once a day.

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But the cock is harder and most are a little bigger than normal. We shit once a day for about 5 minutes. For those experimenting or new bottoms maybe they don't fuck for much more than 5 minutes so I agree there's barely any damage done.

What can cause major damage is rubber burn. That condom is constantly rubbing in and out under pressure and easily dry out the lub. Like you said, use lots and lots of lub.

For those of us who like anal, we go for much longer than just 5 minutes, more than 1 hour if the chemistry is right. Some of us like it a little rougher. Some tops like lesser lub for better feel. All these make for great sex but be prepared for a very sore ass for a few days later. That's what caused the most most visible damage.

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the sphincter muscle is normally tensed.

to have a bowel movement or to accommodaye a cock requires the muscle to relax. any pain of a cock entering will likely cause the muscle to tense up even more, making entry even more difficult.

that's one reason when i top an ass. i like him/her to take a nice long popper hit. it causes everything to relax/dilate.

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You raise a good point that I forgot to mention in my earlier post.

The anal skin on the outside is fairly tough skin and as you go inside it eventually changes to be more like a mucous surface. This is similar to your lip skin by your mouth. Your mouth lips are tough on the outside, but move just inside your mouth and the skin is different.

I understand that frequent rubbing will cause the inside of the anal opening to become more skin like and less mucous like. This will also happen with your mouth lips if you constantly lick and rub your lips.

I have found that experienced bottoms will have really tough skin quite far inside the asshole. Whereas inexperienced bottoms have very sensitive skin that is similar to just inside your mouth.

The tougher asshole skin can take fingers, rubbers, etc. without as much lube as is required with an inexperienced bottom. And yes, I agree it is a turn-on to use as little lube or spit as possible. You feel like the bottom really wants to be fucked.

This difference in skin toughness could be another factor that makes experienced bottoms appear to have a "looser" asshole. Their tougher asshole skin makes it easier to slip inside, which gives the appearance that the hole is looser.

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