Thanks, BayShore, for a well thought-out reply. In response to your subject line, I didn't really have a question, I was just making an observation, and, I guess, hoping to raise some consciousness.
I am aware of the other risks, such as hepatitis (although it's my understanding that hep C is rare and can only be acquired through incidences with shared blood. Anyone who enjoys clean rimming or other anal play, as I do, should be aware of and vaccinated for Hep A & B, as I have).
The urgency for diseases other than hepatitis and HIV is not quite as high, since they are not life-threatening, but no one wants to catch those either. But you're right, we seem to weigh those risks and choose to take the chance anyway when we engage in anonymous sex.
In the experience I related yesterday, my concern was not for catching HIV from this young man, because I know it's rare in that circumstance. And I also feel confident, from the results of my test a few weeks ago, that I would not have infected him if I had carried through with his invitation. What I didn't express very well, in the haste of composing my first message, is that I was more wondering what kind of sense of self-worth a person must have if he is so eager to let anyone bareback him; does someone like that have a death-wish? Or is it just plain ignorance?
Secondarily, I also have to wonder what other risks he has thrown himself open to. If "the biggie," HIV, holds no concern for him, then one would have to expect that nothing else does either. I have to feel sorry for someone like that.
I think this discussion has made me more aware of my role in that encounter. It may be that my dick-limping anxiety was ultimately borne out of my own self-respect.... the thought that maybe, if I carried through with fucking him bareback, it would place me in the position of exploiting the guy's own poor self-image or carelessness or stupidity or ignorance or, or, or.... or whatever shortcoming he has that compels him to bend over and spread his cheeks for the next dick. I could have said, "Oh, yeah, baby, give it to me," and plunged right in -- and that thought really turns me on -- but what kind of person would that make me? I'd like to think that I am better than that.
In fairness I have to admit that the thought of being on the receiving end of that woodsy scenario is pretty arousing. But I have more self-respect and love for life than to take the risk of destroying all that.
Sheesh! Why does sex have to be so complicated??
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