Well, after a long weekend of thinking and talking, We're still plugging along.
You're right, it caused me to question everything that was said/done, etc. But here is what I did, and here is where we stand.
I made the choice to forgive, and I make the choice to forget. I have seen relationships before where one person was cheating, and I know that it didn't really indicate a long-term, non-fixable problem with the relationship ... so having caught him cheating, in and of itself, isn't a good reason to split. Now, if you can't RECOVER from the situation ... if you can't talk about it, if you can't put it behind you ... THAT is a good reason to split.
But I think that we can do all of those things.
I told him that in a past relationship I had been busted cheating, and rather than come clean, I told MOST of what had been going on, but witheld the "non-essentials". That was the beginning of the end of that relationship, and I credit the breakup to my having a few secrets left in the drawer that I didn't own up to. Soooo, I gave him the opportunity to come completely clean without repercussion, and we talked and talked and talked.
We talked about big things and little things, and I really think that we'll be okay.
There is an expression that I have always liked, it applies to people who are trying to label themselves: "Being gay isn't about where you put your penis, it's about who you fall in love with". A derivation of that saying could be "Being in love isn't about where you put your penis, it's what happens afterwards".
It took me my whole life to find this connection. I'm not going to let it break easily. If that were to happen, no one would win.
Thanks, guys. Sorry to be kind of a downer ... but holding out the possibility of forgiveness precluded my talking to any of my non-virtual friends about this. Thanks again.
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