BMG:
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If he has cheated several times while in a relationship with you, he needs to tell you about "all" the times he has cheated on you so that you understand the full extent of his cheating.
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His partner cheating was a
symptom of greater problems within the relationship, not the dealbreaker of the relationship. Focusing in this aspect at the expense of the rest of dynamics of the relationship is not productive and only will add to his hurt.
What he needs to examine are the larger issues that created the atmosphere where his former partner felt the need to step outside the agreed-upon parameters of their relationship. That's the soul-searching he needs to do. He also has to accept that he may never fully know why this relationhisp failed. That will take time.
And that advice is in conflict with this:
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Move on with your life and begin looking for the "next one" who will live up to your expectations of what a committed relationship means and how fidelity fits into a relationship.
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Right now he is in mourning. And he must work through that. Only when he has fully mourned this loss will he be ready to move on and again begin looking. To attempt to move on before he is really ready is to set himself up for failure again. Only he will know when the time is right.
And one of the best ways to find "Mr. Really Right" is to be the kind of person you wish to attract. Everyone can have a bad relationship, but if this is a repeat, then maybe he needs to set down with himself and examine why he perpetuates this cycle of failure.
And yes, I've been there, done that, hurt like hell, mourned, had to face up to a few unpleasant facts about myself and then moved on and tried again. I'm at almost 20 years in my current relationship, but I know it can all go south tomorrow. That's what keeps me invested in it and making sure if it does go south, it won't be because of something wrong I've done.
