Eric,
We all had to start somewhere. I was lucky enough to have an understanding older man pop my ass cherry. (And I returned the favor)
It's good you feel comfortable playing with your ass. You should get a moderately sized dildo to help you work on opening up so when the day comes, you'll be more familiar with how much work it takes to get your ass to the point it can take a cock.
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but as soon as i cum the feelings go away and im left waiting for the next time
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I am not exactly sure what you mean by this. If you feel repulsion or negatively in any way, you are not ready mentally to seek out someone else. If you just mean you're no longer horny and your solo session has sated you, that is normal. A good session of sex should leave you feeling satisfied.
How to find someone? Chat rooms, ABS, online dating forums, friend of a friend, posting here-and many more. Each has its advantages and disavantages.
I get the idea you are a little intimidated at getting the ball rolling. The best way to learn is by example. Look in your local state's forum here for how guys in your area have hooked up. And if you use this site, at least fill in your vital statistics in your profile. Don't lie and don't embellish-be truthful but don't sell yourself short either. The same goes for anyplace else you choose to post ads.
It would be nice if you had a friend or acquaintence that would hook you up, but I am betting you are not very out about your sexuality. This, too, could be holding you back and preventing you from taking that next step.
I am betting also you do not form romantic relationships with men. So your contact with men who like sex with other men has been very limited.
Think on this and hopefully others will give you some good advice also.