for the last couple of years i have found myself looking more and more at gay pics/movies when i masturbate, which is often because im horny all the time. i have given much consideration in meeting someone for sex, but never have made that final step. of course when im masturbating many thoughts gothrough my head like sucking cock and even receiving a cock in the ass. i have used my fingers plenty of times, so i can only imagine what it would feel like to have a cock in there. if someone was to walk in on me while i was stroking away, i would bend over in no time, but as soon as i cum the feelings go away and im left waiting for the next time. its the same cycle over and over. if anyone can offer me suggestions, anything it would be much appreciated.

eric
24, virginia
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Play out your thoughts now and decide if it is for you. If you decide to "do the right thing" and date a woman and marry, then this issue is sure to crop up again later. You may be bi like me and enjoy sex with both. You might decide that guys are the preference. The time to figure it out is now!

__________________
40 something, 6' 175 brn/brn hairy looking for other married wm or younger guys to play.

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Eric,

We all had to start somewhere. I was lucky enough to have an understanding older man pop my ass cherry. (And I returned the favor)

It's good you feel comfortable playing with your ass. You should get a moderately sized dildo to help you work on opening up so when the day comes, you'll be more familiar with how much work it takes to get your ass to the point it can take a cock.

I am not exactly sure what you mean by this. If you feel repulsion or negatively in any way, you are not ready mentally to seek out someone else. If you just mean you're no longer horny and your solo session has sated you, that is normal. A good session of sex should leave you feeling satisfied.

How to find someone? Chat rooms, ABS, online dating forums, friend of a friend, posting here-and many more. Each has its advantages and disavantages.

I get the idea you are a little intimidated at getting the ball rolling. The best way to learn is by example. Look in your local state's forum here for how guys in your area have hooked up. And if you use this site, at least fill in your vital statistics in your profile. Don't lie and don't embellish-be truthful but don't sell yourself short either. The same goes for anyplace else you choose to post ads.

It would be nice if you had a friend or acquaintence that would hook you up, but I am betting you are not very out about your sexuality. This, too, could be holding you back and preventing you from taking that next step.

I am betting also you do not form romantic relationships with men. So your contact with men who like sex with other men has been very limited.

Think on this and hopefully others will give you some good advice also.

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Topeka has provided an excellent and consise primer to get you started. If you are not attacted to a live man yet, guys still like to explore their bodies in private. If you live near a University the boys are usually horny but that does pose some security risks.

It may help you to be comfortable if your first time is within your age group.

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Yup, you are not alone with your 'changing moods'.

Frankly, unless I am emotionally involved, once I bust my nut, my interest in sex and the guy I have been messing around with goes down at an amazing speed. It has been always like that. Of course, a degree of 'emotional intelligence' makes it easy to stay and play around and help your partner reach his point of no return. Yet, most bttm dudes round here really do not expect you to do that. So, this isn't really an issue.

Only you know all the aspects of your personal position in this. So far, you have limited yourself to, hmmm, solitary exploration. You also have a drive to get involved with someone, at least on a very sexual level. How do you get there?

You have to decide, if you really want to try, for better or worse, and if you go for 'yes' then you have to stick to that decision without taking a quick and easy way out. Otherwise, you'll never come out of your 'loop' which is still fine but is slowly turning into a decreasingly thrilling experience.

Basically, you have two options ahead of you.

One is to go through some sort of a 'dating game' and find a partner who'll be willing to take his time, show you the ropes and whom you will reasonably trust with, among other things, 'popping your cherry', if and when you get that far.

The other option is to go for an anonymous encounter in one of the clubs, bars, saunas, ABSs. You'll need to take your time there, too. Instead of 'spanking your monkey' alone at home as the saying goes, let a willing mouth do the work for you, and see how you feel about it. Take it one step at a time and do not rush into anything, no matter how horny you are. Think it over and go a step further the next time around.

Do not ever feel that you have to do something that you do not feel like doing. Sex is by no means a game of reciprocation. It may be, but it does not have to be. So, you do what you feel like doing and stop short of what does not appeal to you.

No matter what you choose to do, once other guy(s) get involved, wear your rubber and make sure they do, too. Period.

I know, all of the above sounds easy and logical but it really is awfully difficult to take that one decisive step. Only you know, if you really want to do that and only you know what would make it easier for you to get there.

I used to have a friend who was facing a similar problem while both of us were in our early 20's. He wanted it badly, yet he simply didn't have the guts to do it and would always chicken out at the very last moment. Somehow, he saw the whole thing as something irreversible and feared that making that one step would make him 'gay' forever. Admittedly, something he was not looking forward to. After much ado, I had to leave him to his own devices and tribulations. Fortunately, a spring break came to his rescue. We flew quite a bit away, no one knew us there and well, the feeling of 'what goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas' set in. Boy, did he jump on that train. And yeah, we sure partied.

Has his life changed? Yes and No. He has discovered another amazing aspect of human experience and learned a lot about what his likes and dislikes were. A few years later, he told me, this was just like learning another foreign language. He knew it and it was entirely up to him, if he wanted to use it or not.

KD

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I agree with GASlick-- you have an advantage now in knowing you have these feelings/desires, and you're not (so far?) attached. That allows you the freedom to experiment and get comfortable with yourself and know what you want from your life. Don't try to repress it and wait til it surfaces later, because as has been said thus far, it *WILL*. If you're bi or gay, that's never going to change, so you should figure out what you want and what you're comfortable with before you make any commitments to yourself or to someone else.

I also agree with the others-- maybe best to try to find someone your age to begin with. I'm not so sure about starting with an ABS or a theater-- totally up to you. Some guys jump in and have no problem, others need a wee bit more privacy their first few times.

Good luck, wherever your journey takes you!

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thanks for all the advice. i still havent acted out any of my "fantasies" but i feel a bit closer to doing so.

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This should be a truly memorable thanksgiving for you even if your bird gets stuffed and you don't.

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