I don't get it.
Haven't you simply ASKED him what he's looking for?
In my own personal online experiences, the vast majority of guys are pretty much upfront about what their intentions are; at least to the extent that men seeking JUST sex make that clear enough. Seems like more guys who advertise themselves as seeking love and relationships and dating ALSO sometimes hit up the occasional cruiser for some casual sex, too -- even if they want something more intimate, they still sometimes just want to get off, which is fine, of course.
I always make it abundantly clear that I want sex only and/or a casual "buddy" for repeat encounters. Yet I STILL get bombarded now and then with questions from guys who want to ask me out on a date, invite themselves over to spend the night, or who become obnoxiously obsessed with whining to me about how they miss waking up next to another man, etc.
What have YOU advertised YOURSELF as seeking? What YOU solicit online will have an impact on WHO contacts you. Though as above, it IS true that many guys will ignore whatever you say -- but most seem to get the picture. What has HE advertised as his desire? You say he's a player -- are you defining that for yourself or has he told you that he is?
Personally, I'd just meet him and see where it goes. Prepare yourself to be let down -- it happens often. But don't go into it with a bad attitude. But firstly -- I'd ASK the guy what he wants.
Caution: if you start hitting him up with serious questions about relationships and life goals and future plans... you might scare the shit out of him. I know I sure as hell tend to run away fast when dudes talk to me online for a short time and suddenly start hinting around that they are looking for a life-partner.
I've had WAY too many experiences talking with dudes online for weeks on end, off and on, and then finding out later when we meet that the chemistry is simply not there -- for sex or anything else. Or worse: finding out that the guy blatantly lied about something I consider crucial, whatever that might be for whatever circumstance is at hand.
I think playing hard to get is a BAD idea -- withholding sex gets you nowhere these days. In fact, I'd go so far as to call it childish and just plain silly. Please re-think that option.
This does NOT mean that you MUST have sex with the guy. We are all entitled to say NO. But if you plan ahead that you are going to be a cock-tease -- that's not cool.
WHAT are you two planning on doing when you actually meet? Is a date arranged? Dinner and a movie and drinks? Or is this meeting strictly for sex or just a casual means of saying hello in person and taking it from there? WHY has it taken you so long to meet in person? Does he live far from you, or are you two just still doing the online chat thing?
And again, most importantly... WHAT has he told you about himself?
PS: Men have been asking for ALL sorts of advice here on CFS. Your question does not need to be about cruising ONLY. We've discussed relationships many times -- so ask anything you want to ask.
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