K, I have neither lived in Palestina nor in any other Arab country, but I have travelled there both extensively and frequently.
Men have a much lower treshold to get violent with foreigners for whatever the reason at hand may be. Assuming that you are gay might be a good reason for someone to try and kick your ass, just to make a point of doing it. So, yeah, you want to be very careful, 'masculine' and as assertive as possible. Showing fear is the worst you can do at any time.
Keep in mind that our (Euro-North American) concepts of being gay, str8 and bi really do not apply here. Women, unless you are married to one or more are practically off limits. So, most men take care of themselves among themselves, so to say.
Usually, the first avenue is the family itself. A younger brother or a nephew is usually introduced into the world of m2m sex by an elderly male relative. No one really talks about it very much and hardly anyone thinks that this is 'gay', 'homosexual' or anything short of absolutely normal for that matter. It is a foregone conclusion that the elderly partner assumes the 'insertive' role and that correspondingly, the younger guy takes the role of a 'taker'. Sure, his time, too will come and he'll have the chance to act as a 'man' once he is grown up and once he gets into the position to show the ropes to someone younger and more impressionable.
When it comes to school friends, college buddies, work collegues, the whole situation gets a bit more complex. Almost invariably so, the one who is more senior, bigger, wealthier, etc. makes a 'special friendship' of a kind. So, a guy has got his 'best friend' who is often addressed as 'a brother' and for the most part, men swear that their friedship is nothing short of 'sacred'. So, you'd see men holding hands in public. Even soldiers, in full uniforms do so. Again, hardly anyone talks up the matter, but a number of those 'special friendships' have a strong sexual component, too. Basically, since women are not available before the marriage and marriage requires a set of complicated arrangements plus a certain stash of cash against your name, your best friend is here to help you. Again, no one really views this as anything out of usual. Most people also assume that by default, the stronger, the bigger, the more senior of the two is the 'top' guy in our sense. Now and then you hear the comments like in: 'Oh, well, he has got to take it now, but his time will come, too.'
Once married, men do busy themselves with their brides for a while. Yet, the old roles and the old friendships do not die that easily. Whenever the wife happens to be pregnant or unavailable for any reason, you still have your best friend, younger sibling or a cousin to help you out. Again, hardly anyone seems to view this as being out of usual.
Indeed, there is a whole plethora of m2m sex in muslim culture. However, there is hardly any 'gay concept' you and I might be familiar with. So, having m2m sex is perfectly all right. Being 'gay' is entirely wrong.
The key to enjoying it all is relatively simple.
Keep in mind that your well-being and safety in every sense matter most.
You are on their turf. Therefore, you'll play by their rules. And those rules are few and simple:
Men do not 'love' men. And you are certainly no 'gays'. God Forbid! But the 'situation' makes it necessary for you to seek a companion, who'll help you release your tension. So, you are willing to pay a token amount for the forthcoming 'help' or give a small gift as a sign of your appreciation for their hospitality or whatever. All this 'beating around the bush' is a face-saving strategy aimed at producing a material 'alibi' that the guys involved were not 'gay' in any sense. Just like the hotel porter who genuinely wants to suck you. Yet, if he admits to that, he'll be 'the worst among the worst'. By doing it for a small amount of cash, he has got himself all neatly covered both before himself and his environment. He isn't gay but he needs cash, so that is all right. Obviously, the saddest part of the story is that self-delusional bit, but we cannot change that, can we?
Regional culture strongly enforces the stereotype that 'being top' as in the guy who is fucking and getting sucked is superior to being a bottom. So, neither versatility nor reciprocation are the names of the game. If you choose to bottom for those guys, be prepared to take quite a bit of their attitude afterwards.
Practically all of the guys you meet within the sexual context will try to assert themselves as tops. Surprisingly, if you convince them that you are leaving the next day and that no one, absolutely no one will ever know, plus you'll give them something to remember you by; quite a few will quickly change their assertive top attitude and readily offer to bottom for you on the spot.
A little kindness and some local insight go a long way. Just like everywhere else.
KD
