Do NOT trust online hookups as having any more veracity than "anonymous" hookups in cruise venues. Guys online LIE and OMIT ALL the time.
I cannot begin to tell you the HUGE number of dudes I have seen CHANGE their online profiles when they realize that their honesty about their HIV status is limiting their sexual partners. Dudes will list "HIV poz" for a few weeks, get no sex (assuming), then remove this bit of information and cruise aggressively.
I have a photographic memory -- I NEVER forget a profile or a photo. But others are not so lucky. I have gone so far as to tell a dude that I know he has removed his HIV status from his profile.
I once went to a dude's house and after having ASKED him if he was "disease-free," he told me upon arrival that he was NOT. He could have saved me the gas money, but he lied online, only to feel guilty when I got there and provide a confession.
But to answer your question:
You are quite correct: assume NOTHING in ANY situation.
Cruising and ALL sex, gay or straight, is AT YOUR OWN RISK.
YOU and ONLY YOU are responsible for protecting yourself.
The optimist in me likes to think that MOST guys would be honest, but I also believe most guys are going to be honest only if ASKED.
The bottom line is you can NEVER know for sure and must take care of yourself.
Online cruising is no different from any other sort of cruising. And it is as varied as "regular" cruising, too. Some online hookups happen in a matter of minutes -- others take many days of "get to know you" conversation. Doesn't matter either way -- honesty is at the discretion of the individual.
Do not forget: STDs do not discriminate. They are equally distributed between HONEST guys and SCUMBAGS.
Many STDs show no visible symptoms, so just looking at someone when cruising is no guarantee of safety. However, rather obviously, any dude who shoves a festering, sore-covered cock through a gloryhole is not likely to get many willing mouths to take it in!
And, of course -- many people who are infected with a symptomless STD don't even KNOW it.
Which is why it is imperative that YOU watch out for yourself.
Use a condom, avoid contact with semen and mucous membranes.
Finally, I think it is perfectly acceptable to ASK anyone anything you want and to ask in ANY circumstance: online or in a bookstore or whatever. Sometimes this is a mood-killer, but... these are the times we live in now.
I think ASKING may often result in an honest response, but you can never be certain of that. It won't HURT to ask, but you must exercise caution at all times nonetheless.
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