Cruising online is something you get the hang of after a while, just like cruising in real life. When cruising in a more public area, I get good vibes and bad vibes off the guys who are present. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right. Same with online setups, but obviously, I'll admit that you can't rely on intuition online as well as you might in face to face situations (and even then, intuition can fail you).
So I always ADVISE folks to meet in public (if asked). But I'm mostly cool with having a dude stop by my place, for various reasons. Each of us has our own comfort zone. I WANT a dude who has the BALLS to come to my place, who isn't afraid to go get what he wants. These type of guys usually end up being a lot more fun than any shy, introverted or closeted types. Yet I agree: there is always risk in anything you do.
For that matter, while meeting in public IS a safer and smarter way to go, it is not out of the question that one could meet a dude in public, feel that all is well, then head off to one's apartment only to discover that the guy they THOUGHT was cool during a fifteen minute coffee-talk session is really a freak of gigantic proportions.
Surprises can come at any time -- which is why cruising is always an AYOR activity.
For me, doing coffee or whatever kills the mood. But that's just me. Any dude that comes to my place and has sent a false photo isn't getting in the door.
And though I always end up meeting new guys every couple months, MOST of the men I meet from online are guys I already know, who get together with me on a regular basis. But of course... they were ALL "new guys" at one time!
Yet I'm flexible, too. I don't mind SOME small talk first and I don't mind fiddling with any given scenario if it helps a dude feel more comfortable.
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