Wait a minute.
I generally stay away from these types of threads because they are highly subjective and no one can possibly mold the feelings and thoughts of the guy asking the question.
Usually our standard response is to NOT worry about labels.
Yet we just told him several stereotypical traits and habits which might make him gay. I'm aware that this was done on a mostly facetious level.
It was rather campy, too. And, of course, campiness is a sure sign of gayness, isn't it?
I'M gay and I do not know the difference between the two fabrics Sam mentioned. Hell, I don't even know how to spell them and I'm too lazy to look back and copy Sam's text!
I hate Bravo. I hate Logo. I haven't redecorated in years and don't care. I never say "fabulous." I could not care less about the Tony awards.
But I'm a fag.
Are we telling this guy that it is femme behavior he must be cautious of? Or are we saying that his dick sucking desires alone are enough to make him queer?
"Don't worry about labels, but here's a few things that will definitely label you as a fag. Oh, and by the way -- you are engaging in gay behavior no matter what your mannerisms may or may not be."
We can't get away without labels in some form or another. Labels are, in fact, often essential to one's own psychological development during our formative, younger years and also as we age and enter various stages of life development. Labels can be beneficial to our sense of SELF.
FRETTING over a label choice is something entirely different, and can lead to much anguish and confusion. I'll agree there.
When most of us came out of the proverbial closet, didn't it feel GOOD to FINALLY know who we were? Weren't you relieved to understand your sexuality at that point?
Some were lucky NOT to ever question their orientation. But many (if not most) were not. The vast majority of gay men went through a period of indecisiveness and questioning, would you agree?
I support the bottom line here -- the guy shouldn't WORRY about it. But we all know from experience that we didn't truly go out and suck dick and have a "gay old time" with other men and NEVER ponder WHO or WHAT we were.
"Know thyself." I think that is a strong statement and of great benefit to a well-developed personality.
The trick is also to ACCEPT yourself.
What I'd like to tell t his guy is that he can select any label he likes, as long as he doesn't denigrate his own behavior and let guilt get in the way of his personal happiness in life.
He is also free NOT to choose any label -- so long as he is comfortable with THAT choice. If a label helps him develop his sense of self, go for it. If it only serves to confuse him more, relinquish it for now.
One does not have to be stereotypical-gay to still be gay. Any one of us who has ever cruised ANY gay scene can attest to the fact that one of the most intriguing aspects of it all is the myriad mix of different types of guys.
It's a fantasy to have a world without labels. That world does not exist. Nor is a world without labels what we should strive for, either.
We just have to be happy being who we are. I think that's something we all agree upon.
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