Briefly, these terms are used very broadly. For the most part (particularly in sex ads) top and bottom are used in reference to anal sex. However, many use them, as you have suggested, to cover "all aspects of sexuality."
When you see an ad that reads "top who enjoys sucking" he's just clarifying that his being an anal "top" does not preclude other activities.
Some tops are interested only in getting themselves off, and how you manage to get yours is entirely up to you. It has been my experience that these are a vast minority. If you happen to be one of those guys who are particularly interested in "str8s" you will encounter this situation more often.
"With benefits" means that there is a retirement and health plan. Seriously, it refers to some sort of compensation. Depending on how it is used it means that the person either expects to receive or will provide compensation. Compensation does not always have to mean cash.
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