Getting Older
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Here is my strategy:
#1 Take very good care of yourself.
Exercise. Eat well. Dress well. Get enough sleep. Manage your budget well. Do not work yourself to death. Make sure that all this shows within the reason. Reinvent yourself and amply demonstrate that you are very active, involved, and at the top of your game. Go with the times. Never allow the impression to be created that you are stuck in the 80's, 90's or wherever. If you are writing 2008, behave accordingly. Nothing suceeds like success. Yet, trying too hard is always counterproductive. Make sure that you achieve your goals using your knowledge, networks and experience rather than just the gruelling daily grind.
#2 Focus on the guys who make you tick.
If you are into the dudes your age, broadly speaking, you should be ok, if you do #1 and project a healthy, positive image of yourself. If you are looking for dudes who are 15-20 years your juniors, you are up for a major struggle. Be prepared to enter a supercompetitive market. You want to reach out, be prepared to part with some cash and take a few rejections in the process. Most guys are looking for partners within their own peer group. Yet, there are loads of young dudes out there, who would be more than happy to have a hot daddy on their side.
IMHE, you want to take charge and control of the situation. You also want to leave them loads of their own space and make sure that you are not depraving them of their contacts with their peers. Yet, you are the one, who sets the rules, usually pays the bills and has the final say. Learn how to take that burden of responsibility upon yourself.
Respect their idependence. Make sure that the young dude on your side has a clear vision of his life with you as well as of his life without you. Generating the feeling that your young bf is trapped with you, will probably only make him bolt for his freedom. Letting him understand that there is life without you but that such a life has its numerous drawbacks, too, always stregthens the relationship. Do not accept the monogamous relationship uncritically. Creating the impression that you want to own your young friend is poisonous. Even worse, creating the impression that you won't be able to move on without him will spell the end to your joy.
Not everyone is a fair game. No matter how good you may be, some guys will never go for a much older/younger/white/black/asian/butch/nelly/beefy or whatever guy. Period. Phase them out completely and do not waste your time and resources on them. They want to play in the sandbox with their peers only and you should not stand it their way.
The old adage that every Daddy is actually a sugar daddy, too, is very true. It is however, up to you to make sure that you control the situation completely. Every college kid these days knows how to spend loads of cash in grand style. Sadly, for many guys, this is the only thing they are really good at. Base your relationship not on the incessant expenditure of your cash but on the process of empowering the young guy on your side to achieve all he wants to achieve with your help. Some guys will never take up that game simply because they are here for a different purpose. Phase them out immediately. They boil down to being very expensive and too complicated escort dudes in disguise. If you want an escort dude, you know, where to go.
#3 Ask yourself, what is it that makes you attractive and desirable. Every guy 25 or 65 or anywhere in-between and beyond comes in a package. Everyone shines here and there and everyone has his own (often excess) baggage. Be objective. Understand first, what's in your package (no pun intended) and work tirelessly to make sure that you, your appearance, your lifestyle, etc., are as appealing as these can possibly be. Nothing is more powerful than a true assessment of your own situation. Success begins at home.
#4 Take it easy on the Big Gay Thing out there. Sure, you are gay. Little is achieved by advertising it too openly. A guy, who finds you interesting will put out his feelers one way or the other. A dude who simply does not want you for whatever his reason may be, will not get into your pants, just because your are wearing your sexuality on your sleeve at all the times.
#5 Embrace the adage that you can bring the horse to the water but that you cannot make him drink...
KD
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