Keith and Grumpy,
Both of you are right about attitudes and conduct...but it isn't an either-or situation.
Yes, politicos and law enforcement need to be given a clear and concise attitude adjustment and leave same-sex play that is not otherwise disturbing the peace alone.
However...
My observations of the last thirty-some-odd years strongly indicates an attitude adjustment of at least equal, if not greater, proportions needs to be delivered to a large majority of same-sex players.
Way, way back before the 1980s, it was a universal given that if you were caught by law enforcement engaging in homosexual activity, you were almost certainly going to be busted, humiliated, and have your life ruined. Men went to great lengths to exercise the utmost discretion and protect places they could get action. There was a strict, unspoken gentleman's code of conduct that all followed. Among this was common sense stuff like not making a mess, not getting in other guys' ways, and not doing anything to attract curiosity or suspicion to the place.
By the late 1970s, this began to erode as homosexuality became "fashionable" during the post-Stonewall sexual revolution. More and more men became emboldened about their activities. However, this ran smack into the brick wall of the Moral Majority and the rest of the conservative/moralistic resurgence of the mid-1980s. The prudes and homophobes managed to overwhelm the more liberal communities around them and sent homosexual freedom from harassment back to the early 1960s in many places...including such iconic places as NYC and San Francisco. They co-opted the AIDS epidemic as the vehicle to "protect the public from harm" by disrupting the ability to easily obtain anonymous sex.
[Sidebar: Contrary to popular belief, California is far from being the bastion of liberal daylight many think it is. Once you leave the San Francisco or Los Angeles city/county limits, the Out and Proud Man could easily think he's somewhere in the Deep South. California has one huge-ass block of conservative, right-wingers, as the whole Prop.8 mess proved.]
The in-your-face attitude of "fuck civility and respecting anyone else" that came into vogue with Gen X in the 1990s made things even worse. The vast majority of guys who came onto the scene since the 90s have practically zero knowledge of what it was like for gays, and disdain and contempt for things like the etiquette and courtesy our older generations lived by. There is a huge difference between "sex in public places" and "sex in everyone's face." If there's a great spot along a path in a park, don't stand there stroking your dick when there are families around, and for God's sake, don't leave the damn place littered with used rubbers or other consumables...learn how to use a fucking wastebasket! (As a father and someone active in my community, I would absolutely be calling the cops or complaining to my civic leaders about shit like that.)
This also means they lack the abilities to comprehend their conduct is what's creating problems in the first place and, more importantly, if they don't like the status quo it is entirely encumbent upon them to get off their asses and advocate for change like their predecessors did. Instead, they bitch about things on the net and get exceedingly hostile to anyone who tells them to be considerate or participate in the legislative process to abolish stupid, archaic, repressive laws. (There is also a good number of 40- and 50-somethings who act that way but they're coming more from a point of "we already did this shit...it's someone else's turn to fight this battle.")
The solution lies with "the rest of us" fostering a return to civility and re-establishing the "rules of the road" by promoting good behavior in public, and encourage those on the sidelines to stop being a bunch of lazy-ass whiners and strike back with actions like voting-out asshole politicians whose social mindsets are stuck in the McCarthy era.
One logical place to start is sites like CFS prominently posting some etiquette rules, followed by the "heads-ups" alerts. Make guys at least have to click-through that to get to the good stuff. And, since this is the Internet, reach out to HRC and local advocacy groups to create an awareness campaign that bombards these throwback localities with negative publicity and shame about their outdated, homophobic policies. Put them on the defensive for a change, instead of men just wanting a little release.
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I have a need for seed!
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