Now THAT sounds like a hot flick! The Euros don’t often give us glory hole films, so even though this one is set in a sex club, it sounds like it’s got plenty of heat. And “heat” in many Euro flicks can be a tricky commodity: yes, they feature astonishing physical specimens, often wielding mammoth fuck sticks, and when the camera’s in the right place and the guys are really cooking, you might find yourself scraping cum off your ceiling when all is said and done – but then that last bit really applies to any DVD/Video porn.
There are, however, some legit complaints against the Man-Fuckin’ Quartet of better-known International/Euro porn directors.
MEN’S DIVISION:
Grade A Kristen Bjorn at Sarava Productions
Grade B-Plus Herve Bodilis/Handsome at High Octane, and
Grade B-Minus Csaba Borbely at Diamond Pictures/IMD Video
JUNIOR DIVISION (only one significant qualifier):
Grade A-to-B-Plus multiple directors at Bel Ami
Typical aspects of these filmmaker’s productions that put out the fire and make me hit the [FF>>] button on my remote control:
1. Formal and Stiff: scenes are frequently elaborately staged and posed, and the performers seem stuck with little room to move freely and “let ‘er rip”; the result is formal and stiff (and not in a good way).
2. Euro Moaning: when two or more guys in a scene all sex-moan in sync; it’s like some kind of gay glee club doing a round of bad dubbing, and it comes across as silly nonsense.
3. Tongue Wars: two or more hot dudes get nose-to-nose, and then the next thing you know their snake tongues are battling it out as if in a frantic duel; I know that many of these performers self-identify as straight, but this is the lamest substitute for kissing I have ever witnessed.
4. Can’t/Won’t Suck: again, I know that many of these performers self-identify as straight, but if you’re getting paid to suck dick, at least put some effort into it; and for those who are regulars in these films, then for Pete’s sake, practice, practice, practice! (And if they can’t/won’t suck, you can bet that rimming is off the menu, too.)
Over the years, the Man Fuckin’ Quartet has alternately improved and/or fallen back on these items of complaint, while the astonishing men and their big honkin’ dicks are usually enough to keep me from nodding off.
But(t) back to GrumpyBear’s review… For more sex club (with glory holes) Euro flicks with lots of heat, check out (German) Wurstfilm’s “Night Lair” (2004) and “Sex Lair” (2005), both directed by Christian Huber and Horst Braun, courtesy of Mercury Releasing here in the U.S. Meanwhile, it sounds like High Octane’s “Glory Holes” needs to go on my 2009 Wish List to Santa. “Dear, Santa: I’ve been bad. REALLY bad…” – HH.
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