I've had the diappointments too, and I don't see 'diappointments' as a new phenominum, they were par for the course 30 years ago.
A long time back I made my own policy to talk in detail with the young man before offing. I'm specific as to what I want and I ask for a specific answer as to what he will agree to do.
I never discuss this with captains or mamasans, only with the working boy and I find that politeness and whispers seem to help, and I make sure this discussion starts within perhaps 10 minutes of the man sitting down, so that he and I can get on with life quickly. If the answer is vague then I politely change the construction of the question until I get a clear answer.
If he indicates that the only thing he will do is give me a handjob then he has no chance whatever of getting my business.
I totaly respect his right to say he will only suck if there is a condom in use, but I will not off in this scenario. I expect the man to insist on a condom if penetration is part of the agreement.
If needed I politely tell the young man that I'm looking for something different and thank him for his time, and probably give him 100Baht tip.
When this happens I also ask for the bill and leave. That's my way of extracting myself from this situation, but of course others will want to stay and perhaps ask another working man to chat, each to their own.
Speaking Thai does help.
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