Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
I think in some ways guys were MORE open to it back then - because we never thought of it as being gay - we thought of it as being horny and "any port in a storm". We thought of it as sex - not gay sex - and I think if either of us tried to say "gay" it might have ended.
|
Yup. The idea of being gay in those days meant that you were effeminate, open to attacks, freakish. Having tons of sex with your male friends in private? Sure, that was quite OK. A dude has to do what a dude has to do.
If a dude topped, well, he was a guy. He had to fuck someone. If a dude bottomed, he was a champ, and put out for a friend in need.
We all knew that all of this was a bit of a charade. Some dudes were always willing to put out, the others were always willing to top. But there was hardly any shaming of anyone. Sure, we all cracked jokes about it, but it was all well-meaning and in good humor.
A good top would always show a bit of appreciation for the bottom dude. You'd buy him couple of rounds of drinks, pay for the taxi ride, buy him a dinner now and then. This made it sweeter for the bottom guy, and was a bit of a face saving strategy in a vastly heteronormative world.
The best thing about it all was that we all agreed that this was just sex. Usually, very good sex, too. But no one sweated it, or really thought that what happened the night before was an earth moving event that changed everything, made you gay or anything. We all learned that it was just sex, and that no one was going to waste their lives thinking it over and over again. The experience gave you a very healthy sense of the limited importance of who you really are in sexual terms. No one really felt much drama about it all.
KD