Quote:
Originally Posted by KewlDewd66
This is probably where the different cultural traits kicked in. In a sense we were all in closet. You did not tell your parents, your family, friends, and the guys you knew that you were gay, and that you were actually having sex with other guys.
On the other hand, all of my friends have heard stories from our fathers, uncles, elder brothers, etc., that they all had had their best friends and buddies with whom they were spending lots of time in their day. A real man was not spending his time with girls, doing girly stuff. You'd hang out with you your buddies. No one mentioned all the details but you quickly figured out that most likely, hanging out with your buddies probably included some fun on the side, while the girls were really not available for the sweaty, sex stuff.
|
It's so familiar, what was said and what wasn't said. When I came out to my father in in the mid-1980s he, a former Air Force officer, said he'd "known guys who did this" or words to that effect and was OK with me. I didn't ask more about it, he didn't tell, and we went on with the business of having a more open and honest relationship. I actually took him and his girlfriend out to dinner at a DC gay bar/restaurant. They were fine, as far as I could tell.
There was no mention of his being Catholic and going to church every Sunday and my being brought up that way, nor the Church's teachings. It was the same thing as when he and I had talked about masturbation in the 1970s. Part of the Catholic heritage, I think, recognized that "the flock" did not always live by the admonitions from on high but also lived by their own conscience and decisions, whether sub rosa or vocally. That became even moreso after Vatican II in the early 60s.
Now of course our culture celebrates openness and freedom and people are urged to be increasingly public about who they are and what they do. Mass media is part, and the Internet, and especially the explosion of social media. I wonder sometimes how much we've abandoned of those "secret" private spaces where we could once explore and try things with being identified and labeled or labeling ourselves.
Enough with that, time to get on with my other work for all of you on this site.
Bob