Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
We never talked about it until it was time to do it again. It was like talking would make it real. I knew when my buddy said "you want to go out to the hay loft?" it was time for sex because every time we went there we had sex. But he would never say "want to go have sex?" And in most cases we would not talk about other guys we fooled around with if it was someone you both knew. We understood that if Bob wanted Tim to know he sucked cock it was up to Bob to t him know - not me. You could talk about unknown guys "this guy I met at camp I think he tried to suck off everyone there" - but that was not "outing" anyone.
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The same here. We never talked about how my buddy and I were going to meet Friday after classes, and have sex. Absolutely not. It was like,
'Dude, wanna come over to my place Friday afternoon. I got a sixpack cooling in the fridge.'
'Yeah, sure. I'd be glad to. Can I stay overnight if the weather turns nasty rather than wait for the freakin' bus to show up?'
The translation for those in the know was only too clear. It was going to be a sleepover with lots of hot action between the sheets. And the dude was not going anywhere till late Saturday at the earliest. The bttm guy not going to walk str8 for a while anyway
Once the few of us started rolling the ball (from our point of view), there was a natural need to expand the mating pool. Some guys dropped out, and went back to the country. One dude or the other would find an understanding GF. One or the other dude thought that this was probably going too far, he did not really like it, etc. So, there has been a natural need to grow, or face a quick decline.
Say, I picked up a guy I knew from seeing at the University Sports Center. He tagged along to see my new digs in the hood, and we hooked up. After a week or a fortnight, I'd ask him if he wanted to meet some of my friends. By this time, he was sure to figure out what was so powerfully cementing the bonds of our friendship. So, he'd say either 'yes' or 'no'.
If he agreed, I'd get in touch with one of my old buddies who had introduced me to some of his 'new' friends lately, and ask him if he was up to meeting a 'new' dude, I met the other day. Again, no one talked sex at all. Naturally, he would be more than happy to oblige. After all, he did not go through the trouble of providing intros to his friends for nothing?
But this is where the tame 'pimping game' stopped. You would usually meet in a popular coffee shop, chat over coffees, and leave the newly established friends/buddies to their devices. From that point on, it was all their business, not mine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
We were also all "straight" and most guys had a limit as to how far they could go and still be "straight".
Many guys would jack off in front of each other. Remember this was before the Internet and if you had a good magazine or even better a VHS tape you would show it to your buddy and often end up jerking off together. That was fairly common and no one made a big deal about it.
Some guys would be willing to jack each other off - but that was still "straight".
Then a smaller group would eventually move on to sucking each other - but since said we wished there were girls willing to do it - that made it so we were still "straight".
Far fewer were willing to fuck - but since they were the top - they could still consider themselves "straight"
And then the smallest group of all - those willing to bottom. And I think a lot of the reason so few were into it was there is very little way to convince yourself that you are "straight" if you are getting fucked.
And the lines these guys were willing to cross changed back and forth. Maybe for a summer they are willing to trade blowjobs - but by the fall they have a girlfriend and now they will still jack off - but that is it. Or maybe once they are willing to get fucked - but the next time you fool around they make it clear - they don't do that - just oral.
So much of it was mind games - and not even so much to save face with our friends - but for ourselves. After all - we were just horny - we weren't "homos".
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This is where we really had very different experiences.
Sure, we were all 'str8'. That was self-understood. How could it be any other way? Yet, even more importantly, we were the 'players', the cool guys who were having fun, and not the sissies who were afraid of everything and were waiting for their wedding night to lose their respective VCards.
I often thought that being stamped a 'non-player' was much worse than being stamped 'gay'.
Hence, if you were one of the players, well, you had to either play or pack up and go. And the 'play' really meant anal sex by default and few exceptions.
This structure badly needed a good face-saving strategy for a number of confirmed bottoms or an occasional versatile guy. A top guy did not need any explanation whatsoever. He was a str8 horny dude who had no better solution at this time, and went like so many other dudes for the next best. He fucked, which is what men do.
This is where 'helping your bud out', 'repaying old debts', 'trying to get something valuable', etc., came into the story as being the motives for seemingly str8 guys to bottom for other dudes.
Naturally, a born player would not hesitate to get sexual if that meant an invite to the hottest bday party this weekend. Or if someone was going to sort out his term paper, etc..
Hence, the tops pretty much focused on getting all the beads, and the bottoms focused pretty much on collecting the beads in exchange for sexual favors, to use the Mardi Gras terminology.
True. By far, most of it were mind games. But they worked, and our coterie grew to encompass at least two dozens of dudes in its heyday.
Though nothing was written in stone, the roles were pretty set, and the only acceptable change was when a bottom dude started to develop some versatility, since a new wave of clueless 'frogs' came into the town. If he scored as a top with the new guy(s), well that was awesome. The old cohort would keep his past under taps, and the new guys would not be likely to learn that they are now being topped by a former bttm dude.
For those of us in the know, nothing would usually change. Our bttm buddies would still bttm for us, and possibly bring in new guys into play, too.
Occasionally, two tops would team up to tag team a newly arrived bttm dude. As soon as the newcomer left, the two tops would revert to their previous roles, and a good, popular top would get to top a dude who has just topped which added spice to the play.
KD