These aren't exactly stats, but it relates to why some do not cum. The bottom line is it might not be you, it might be the other person.
For me, it usually takes a long time to cum. When I first started having sex in the early 80s I thought it was just because I was introverted and and unsure of myself. Later on, as this continued, I realized it was just the way I was.
I talked to my gay doctor about in it in the late 90s, and his response was, "And this is a problem?"
I explained that sometimes I wore people out fucking them or at times they would get impatient and unsatisfied because I wasn't cumming as soon as they hoped. When whoever I was playing would starting urging me to cum, in the usual language and what all, that could put more pressure on me to "perform" and prolong things more. Eventually he or I or both would get tired and stop.
They would sometimes seem unhappy or dissatisfied that they "hadn't made me cum," as if it was some sort of reward for them. I didn't really mind, since I got a lot of pleasure in the journey and the act, even if I didn't reach the destination where everyone wanted to go.
Shortly after I was on SSRIs following a break-up. I don't know if that made a difference or not, since my next lover and I had a
great sex life until he fell off a ladder just as we were moving in together. After that - 2002! - I entered caregiver mode and things were never the same. I was lucky to already be working from home and especially to be working for Keith since 2000.
By now my partner's health has declined considerably, though I won't go into detail. He hasn't felt like having sex for years, and I understand. Although we always had a completely open relationship I don't have time to go out, much less use the hook-up sites and apps. And that's OK, at least for now. I get a lot of vicarious pleasure from reading everybody's, and I mean
everybody's, experiences here on the Message Board, the Sex Listings, and the Escort site. That's part of my job, and a part that I truly enjoy.
There was a period two years ago when my partner was in the hospital and then in a nursing facility for over three months. The previous year he had also several severe health emergencies which caused him to be hospitalized for, say, a week or more. Occasionally in those times I went out here in Houston to The Ripcord or The Eagle and had lots of fun. I found I'd loosened up a bit and, at least in an old-fashioned darkroom, was able to cum multiple times and completely satisfy all the guys I played with.
I know there will be times, possibly soon, when my partner will be in the hospital again. I also know there eventually will be a time when I will be by myself. I understand completely what is likely to happen for both of us and I've made peace with it.
As for sex, unfortunately The Eagle's new location, while quite nice, no longer has the sleazy environment and the darkrooms (multiple!) that I liked. I'd always preferred the Ripcord patio just as a social space and to see or meet people, even if you can't always play there or the play might be more leather/kink than directly genital. So perhaps I'll go to The Rip' or to the baths then, or perhaps I'll assess other choices.
This is longer than I intended and I must move on. But perhaps it gives y'all some insight into those who don't cum and why.
~ Bob