I was at Adult Depot 1 in San Diego recently, in a mood to suck dick. The theaters weren't too crowded but it became pretty obvious that my mouth was available after I got the first guy off. The next guy was the hottest looking of the evening and very assertive, but left without cumming even after a pretty hot and long play session in the back of the theater. A 20-something who watched that performance got turned on enough that he came pretty quick when I sucked him. But after that, guys approached to get sucked but none of them came. I think the result was about 40% of guys delivered loads.

Any of you guys want to offer stats on your success rates at ABS, theaters, tearooms? Does it relate more to time of day, age of patron, or some other factor. I suppose the most important is just how good I am at giving head

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When sucking off people I know - 100% cum.

Although I have never been to a bathhouse or a "real" theater I have played in a few Adult Book Stores. In the stores I would guess around half is it.

I think some are scared but a lot of them I think want to delay as long as they can and "keep shopping" for guys who will go farther or they are more into.

As for the ones that do cum more often? Married guys. They are feeling horny and guilty so they seem to want to get into the arcade - get sucked - cum - and leave.

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These aren't exactly stats, but it relates to why some do not cum. The bottom line is it might not be you, it might be the other person.

For me, it usually takes a long time to cum. When I first started having sex in the early 80s I thought it was just because I was introverted and and unsure of myself. Later on, as this continued, I realized it was just the way I was.

I talked to my gay doctor about in it in the late 90s, and his response was, "And this is a problem?" I explained that sometimes I wore people out fucking them or at times they would get impatient and unsatisfied because I wasn't cumming as soon as they hoped. When whoever I was playing would starting urging me to cum, in the usual language and what all, that could put more pressure on me to "perform" and prolong things more. Eventually he or I or both would get tired and stop.

They would sometimes seem unhappy or dissatisfied that they "hadn't made me cum," as if it was some sort of reward for them. I didn't really mind, since I got a lot of pleasure in the journey and the act, even if I didn't reach the destination where everyone wanted to go.

Shortly after I was on SSRIs following a break-up. I don't know if that made a difference or not, since my next lover and I had a great sex life until he fell off a ladder just as we were moving in together. After that - 2002! - I entered caregiver mode and things were never the same. I was lucky to already be working from home and especially to be working for Keith since 2000.

By now my partner's health has declined considerably, though I won't go into detail. He hasn't felt like having sex for years, and I understand. Although we always had a completely open relationship I don't have time to go out, much less use the hook-up sites and apps. And that's OK, at least for now. I get a lot of vicarious pleasure from reading everybody's, and I mean everybody's, experiences here on the Message Board, the Sex Listings, and the Escort site. That's part of my job, and a part that I truly enjoy.

There was a period two years ago when my partner was in the hospital and then in a nursing facility for over three months. The previous year he had also several severe health emergencies which caused him to be hospitalized for, say, a week or more. Occasionally in those times I went out here in Houston to The Ripcord or The Eagle and had lots of fun. I found I'd loosened up a bit and, at least in an old-fashioned darkroom, was able to cum multiple times and completely satisfy all the guys I played with.

I know there will be times, possibly soon, when my partner will be in the hospital again. I also know there eventually will be a time when I will be by myself. I understand completely what is likely to happen for both of us and I've made peace with it.

As for sex, unfortunately The Eagle's new location, while quite nice, no longer has the sleazy environment and the darkrooms (multiple!) that I liked. I'd always preferred the Ripcord patio just as a social space and to see or meet people, even if you can't always play there or the play might be more leather/kink than directly genital. So perhaps I'll go to The Rip' or to the baths then, or perhaps I'll assess other choices.

This is longer than I intended and I must move on. But perhaps it gives y'all some insight into those who don't cum and why.

~ Bob

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Being a total top, I am the least qualified guy to offer any opinion here.

Yet, from the top's perspective, I do not ALWAYS want to shoot the load, and 'reward' the sucker dude. I am usually in a cruising mood, so I am hedging my bets. If a dude is just an average sucker, I am most likely to enjoy it for a while, let him enjoy it, too, and move on to the next willing guy. If a dude happens to be very hottt AND a n awesome sucker, I'd gladly shoot my load when my time comes. A sucker dude deserves his reward, if he does it right, and if he looks right, in my eyes that is.

I am talking a NSA hook up here. No sucker dude is under any obligation whatsoever to suck on it till I shoot. He is a free man, and may be happy to move on to the next available cock. The same applies to me, too. I do not see any obligation on my part to shoot, unless I feel like it.

The great thing about hooking up/cruising for sex is that no one should feel any obligation to do anything in particular. You do what you enjoy, and hope that the other dude does the same. If a guy has a clear cut plan on how his mate is supposed to act, the joy of the free play is lost.

KD

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I asolutely agree with you here. You're there to have fun. You enjoy and you are enjoyed, hopefully, but there certainly shouldn't be any obligation to do any particular thing. Do what makes you happy or else what's the point?

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The issue many guys facing here is that of the lack of knowledge, lack of experience, and last but not least, lack of self-confidence. If you lack any of these, or worse, all of them, the chances are that you would be looking for a safe template to frame your behavior, expectations, and help you distinguish right from wrong. So, guys are asking all those 'am I supposed to do this? Is he supposed to cum after 30 min. of action. How long is too long, and how short is too short, etc. How am I supposed to please my man? Should I bleach my anus?

Much of this cultural framework comes straight from the heteronormative world. Who is supposed to pay the dinner bill? When is it OK to have sex and not appear to be a slut?

The list rolls on and on...

M2M sex is an essentially different experience altogether. A dude agrees to suck dick or get fucked. There is no anatomy to dictate his decision. A dude who is now kneeling in front of you polishing your knob may have just fucked some ass, and shot his load? If you keep this in mind, you'll easily understand that you want to read the desires of your mate, and respond to them as much as you can without forgetting your own pleasure. Sure, every good player wants to bring his buddy to orgasm. But sex can be awesome even if you do not get there in the porn-prescribed way.

I know a few good suckers who enjoy their trade. That does not mean that either they or their tops shoot payloads all the time. A few men go around sucking cocks, then, change the roles, and have other dudes suck them, only to shoot their loads while fucking or being fucked later on. The fact that maybe neither you nor your buddy shoot the load while messing around with each other does not invalidate the sexual experience per se. You go out to have fun. Sure, you want to get your rocks off, too. But that alone is not the only fun part. It is more about getting there.

KD

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As a top, I must say it is very much to do with his technique. For me, the whole purpose of being sucked is to eventually blow my load into him. However, the way he does it determines my mood. From my experience being sucked, there're basically 2 factors to technique. First is whether his motions are gentle and slow enough initially to create a heightened erotic environment. If he's rough and uses teeth, I'm immediately put off. Second is if he can sustain and increase the motions gradually and constantly, leading to an orgasm. Those who find it a chore to suck will not sustain the motions, and this is so crucial in getting to that final glorious eruption.

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I love to get sucked off however it is not that common for me to get a really good BJ. Bad things that can happen are either I get my cock gouged with teeth and a couple times of this and I lose interest or else a guy will suck slowly, sniff some poppers, rub cock on face, suck a little slowly, sniff some more poppers, etc. Porn movie shit basically. This is incredibly boring and I really lose interest quickly. What I like is nonstop, quick and intense where I get swallowed.. That is heaven...

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Sucking cock always seemed natural to me.

Only time I really had to think about what I was doing was the first few times with a buddy that had a real thick cock - but other than that never really had any "teeth" issues and have always loved the feeling of a hard cock in my mouth.

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Thanks for the comments on my original question. The correct answer is "all of the above", I think. Sometimes not cumming is because it is just not the right technique or the right vibe, but sometimes it's just enjoying the edging and wanting to continue to play. I have had some cool sex club experiences recently and realized that most guys are really there for extended edging/pleasuring and are not going to want to cum until the end of their night. Getting together with a FWB is an entirely different kind of sex; of course we're both going to cum, and then probably laugh and talk for another hour or two. Both satisfying but in very different ways.

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I fully agree.

Cruising for sex in club or elsewhere is about getting your rocks off, too. But for many guys out there it is a bit of a self-validation, ego-boosting trip. You want to go out and see how many dudes are going to get on their knees and polish your knob. Lots of action does not mean that the guys will be shooting their loads left, right and center all the time. It means that the guys are getting at it, and that the others, too, are following in their footsteps. Under such, mostly anonymous, totally NSA conditions, neither suckers nor suckees really expect to shoot each and every time someone starts sucking...

KD

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I think KewlDewd has a point about location....

In a place like a sex club I suspect there is a lot of "I got 8 guys to suck my cock tonight". For these guys it is the journey they desire...

However in a place like an adult book store a large percentage are there to just get their rocks off - and if they can cum in 2 minutes rather than 20 that saves them money feeding the video machines. For these guys it is not about the journey - just the destination and they don't care how they get there.

And depending on your mood and how much time you have both can be fun!

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I also see a general difference between most daytime cruisers and the guys who are out there at night.

Relatively few guys are totally free of any obligations during the daytime. Typically, a dude forfaits his lunch break to suck/get sucked. The time, and sure, the money, too, are usually of essence. You may want to go on an '8 cock/suckers journey' but the time at hand dictates that you find the fastest way possible to shoot your load into a willing hole, and quickly move on with your day. That's how it is...

A Friday or Saturday night cruiser can afford to take his time, and fool around for all he wants. Not so, if your lunch break clock is ticking, and you have got to get back to work.

KD

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LOL -

You sure make it sound romantic!

But in reality that is one of the great thing about NSA hook-ups. They can last as long or as short as your time permits.

It is great on those times when you just NEED to cum - you can go for it quickly and move on.

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I better fess up here to being the world's worst romantic there is...:

I also admit that mimicking the heterosexual notion of dating romance has never done anything for me. Flowers, candlelight dinners and boxes of chocolate just do not do it for me.

I love hanging out together, going on back road trips, hitting major cities for exhibitions and concerts, home cooked dinners, movies at the home cinema, etc.. Beach holidays together and what not. But nope, the heterokind of romantic stuff ain't really for me.

KD

KD

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