One aspect of the "normalization" and "assimilation" of gay men into the larger society is that I wonder if, with more married gay couples, there may eventually be some stigma attached to playing around or having open relationships.
With some guys, I used to hear those sort of comments even occasionally back in the 1980s, but it was rare. Part of the "transgressive" aspect of being gay was that we could make our own rules (if they were, in fact rules) for handling our relationships and not copy straight monogamous models of behavior.
My partner and I have decided not to marry, for many reasons. A court here in Texas recently recognized a common-law marriage between two lesbians that started before the recent Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage.
We're thinking about executing a formal "no-nup" agreement to try to make it clear if anyone questions it that we aren't married and don't constitute a "household" for legal purposes. That might be an issue at some point with respect to his profound disability and his eligibility for certain means-tested benefits.
So, for some people at some times, it's important to dot your "i's" and cross your "t's" in this type of situation and not let anyone assume anything, instead making things explicit.
In any case, regarding sex we both always did whatever we wanted and didn't really care what others thought, although we tried to keep each other informed, were attracted to the same types of guys, and generally wanted to be kind and thoughtful as much as possible.
Our 15th Anniversary will be next Sunday. On to other things...
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