Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
We all have our boundaries - people or things that we will not do - but as you said - you look the other way.
But on some of the boards you see so many being so judgmental about married guys that like a little M/M on the side and about out of shape guys or older guys - and some of these people go out of their way to post about how what they are doing is "wrong".
I just keep thinking these are gay guys looking for sex with other guys - an activity that is still far from universally accepted - and they are busy being judgmental about a guy that is married / older / out of shape / etc. but looking to do the same thing.
There are lots of activities and people that go WAY beyond what I am comfortable with - and sure I judge in my own mind - but I (try) to keep my mouth shut.
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We all have eyes and ears. Some folks are more endowed with their cognitive abilities than the others, though
. So, we judge. And that's fine. We should be absolutely free to judge for ourselves and NOT for the others.
Just like Capital wrote:
If you weren't into someone for whatever reason, you simply did not have contact with them and that was it.
I am not into some dudes because I personally, do not find them attractive. And I am also into other dudes precisely because I very much personally, find them to be attractive. My body, my life and I am calling my shots.
All of the above is simply what the constitutional lawyers call 'the freedom of association' for the lack of better expression.
Shaming the others, and getting into their private business without being asked to do so is what is so totally wrong.
So, this other dude is supposedly cheating on his wife, his BF, etc.. Whereas I personally, find this neither good nor laudable, I will always stop passing any moral judgement here.
First off, I am not his/her or anyone's moral or otherwise guardian. They are grown ups, and should be able to handle their affairs on their own. Why would I wish to get involved into their affairs in any way to start with?
Second off, how much do I really know about these guys? What may appear to most of the uninformed folks out there as a blatant case of cheating may or may not be an open relationship? Who knows? And, frankly, why would we want to know? How is this any of my business?
Now, some of the shamers go around pointing out that shaming people is a powerful means of corrective behavior. So, you are shaming a fat/obese person, so he/she hits the gym, loses weight, improves his/her health, and generally becomes a very 'desirable' person.
No one can absolutely exclude this scenario. Yet, I very strongly doubt that there are many, many fat/obese dudes out there who do not know that they are NOT doing too well, need to lose weight, improve on their lifestyle, etc.. Telling them something that is pretty obvious AND pretty well-known to them is really NOT like you are breaking any major news to them. And before anyone goes there, they too, should remember that other people's lives are really NONE of their business to start with.
KD