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Originally Posted by jonn3
It is funny how "situational homosexuality" has always existed - often the subject of jokes - but based in reality. For men at sea it has always been a topic. There is even a book called "Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition" that Johnny Depp says he read when preparing for "Pirates of the Caribbean".
You speak to people who went to traditional all boys boarding schools and many of them will admit it happened (often saying "many of the other boys did it") - but none of them thought of it as a lifestyle choice.
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I may be hairsplitting here but I fully agree with you that situational homosexuality has always existed. Yet, it used to be rather limited to specific environments: the high sea, military, prisons, boarding schools, etc.. If there were no available women around the guys had little other option but to help each other out. I doubt that this has changed very much at all.
Relative novelty is that you now encounter increasing levels of situational homosexuality in far less constraining environments.
I have been a corporate road warrior for a few years now. And I have picked up dudes at the hotel bars, pools, saunas, etc., in major cities, usually at very good locations that would allow a determined str8 dude to seek female company.
Obviously, a few of the guys I have hooked up may have been your usual str8 acting gay or bi man. Yet, a few have been apparently pretty str8 in terms of their lifestyle, and would have probably preferred a female company. The practical aspect of life, the diminishing stigma, etc., probably influenced their actions, and they choose to have sex with a man who was readily available rather than go on a risky wild goose chase that may have landed them a female companion or not. Such guys invariably asked for absolute discretion, too. At least 3 or 4 of them admitted that they had had similar experience in the past and that doing it now and then did not change their self-perception of being str8.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
I knew MANY guys like that - who said they would "outgrow" it or when they had opportunities with girls they would stop. And many of them did.
Had one buddy that all summer we blew each other almost every day - when school started he got a girlfriend who put out and although we remained friends it was never spoken of again.
But I wonder how many of them still think about it. One friend who is married with children has told me that if he was growing up today rather than when we were kids he would probably be gay - but at that time and with his family he did not feel that was an option.
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No doubt that some men really 'outgrew' their HS/college gay phase. Once they got steady girlfriends and wives later on, their sexual needs were taken care of, and they saw no need to go back to m2m sex. Fun as having sex with them in the past used to be, you can see their point.
A few guys I knew however, admitted that they were going to force themselves into being str8 because of the stigma attached, their desire to have children, and generally belong to the mainstay of the society. I could see their point, too. At that time and age being gay (openly or not) was really an uphill struggle, and not everybody wanted to take that path. I hope that the results of the gaylib these days allow men who really feel that they enjoy sex with other men choose the path that feels more natural to them.
KD