Less Than 50% of Teens Identify as Straight, Says New Study | Out Magazine



This really shows how the "fear" of being gay or bi has lessened with the new generation. I have always felt that sexuality is a sliding scale with very few people 100% one way or the other - but now that seems to be taken as a given.

We were told that about 3% of the population is gay. Just from my "straight" friends growing up it was always clear to me that more than 3% were willing to fool around. It seems that the new generation is not scared of some experimentation or just a summer fling.

Also interesting the number willing to admit that in the age group of 13 - 20 year olds. They did some "anonymous surveys" in junior high, high school and in college psych classes - but most of the stuff I would have been scared to admit back then even in an anonymous survey!

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On one hand the societal stigma associated with being gay has largely disappeared in many of the first world countries, to mention the few...

On the other hand, legal ban on discrimination, marriage equality, etc., have all contributed to the notion that you do not have to be gay forever, fit into any of the stereotypes (in order to be accepted), and yet have sex with other men if you choose to do so. The prevailing concept of masculinity has changed. The previously uncontested notion that if you went 'gay' once or for several times, you CANNOT be str8 anymore is continuously losing ground.

At least one other major change has probably influenced this new attitude. The latest financial global meltdown has dealt a very serious blow to the traditional structures that seem to be unable to offer stability and security in exchange for the adherence to their values. The 'golden boy' syndrome is largely the matter of the past.

The fact is that relatively very few people these days will refuse to be your friends just because you are openly gay, or because someone is spreading the gossip that you may be gay. Very few companies will fire you for being gay. And, yes, at many places you can have a happy and fulfilled life being anywhere between openly gay to being DL.

There seems to be a growing acceptance of situational homosexuality, too. A few guys do not make it much of a secret that they did have sex with other men when the circumstances offered no other practical alternative. Such guys still perceive themselves as mostly str8 but are open-minded and will cut the chase short if in mood to do so, or if believing that this is the best they can do under the given circumstances.

KD

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My own $0.02: People are flexible in what they actually do, are now, always have been.

The difference now is the stigma is less. People (overall) are more willing to open and have much less damaging and unneeded shame about sexuality.

Out Magazine picked this up from Broadly: Teens These Days Are Queer AF, New Study Says, who interviewed the "Director of Trend Forecasting" from J. Walter Thompson's Innovation Group. It's interesting in many ways that an advertising agency - figuring out how best to sell us things - is the one to go to for identifying societal change.

Broadly interviewed additional people, Hollywood types and an agender writer/speaker. J. Walter Thompson was to release the full results at SXSW in Austin. I'll be looking for it.

Thanks, john3, for posting this.

~ Bob

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This is probably a cultural trait to some extent.

At least a couple of my college buddies who were pretty much involved with our frequent gay underground activities at college openly admitted that they were going to get married and have children, and all, simply because they did not want to live their lives in fear, or be seen as freaks of some kind.

You may see them as weaker guys, more prone to conformism and compliance, too. Big part of the attraction for them was the idea that they would never leave the mainstream if they married, had children, and that somehow, the society would take care of them. They were going to land some sort of an good, ole AT&T job, hang on it, while enjoying their leisurely lives

Hardly anything of that planning on the side or personal benefits materialized... But that's another story.

KD

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It is funny how "situational homosexuality" has always existed - often the subject of jokes - but based in reality. For men at sea it has always been a topic. There is even a book called "Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition" that Johnny Depp says he read when preparing for "Pirates of the Caribbean".

You speak to people who went to traditional all boys boarding schools and many of them will admit it happened (often saying "many of the other boys did it") - but none of them thought of it as a lifestyle choice.


I knew MANY guys like that - who said they would "outgrow" it or when they had opportunities with girls they would stop. And many of them did.

Had one buddy that all summer we blew each other almost every day - when school started he got a girlfriend who put out and although we remained friends it was never spoken of again.

But I wonder how many of them still think about it. One friend who is married with children has told me that if he was growing up today rather than when we were kids he would probably be gay - but at that time and with his family he did not feel that was an option.

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I may be hairsplitting here but I fully agree with you that situational homosexuality has always existed. Yet, it used to be rather limited to specific environments: the high sea, military, prisons, boarding schools, etc.. If there were no available women around the guys had little other option but to help each other out. I doubt that this has changed very much at all.

Relative novelty is that you now encounter increasing levels of situational homosexuality in far less constraining environments.

I have been a corporate road warrior for a few years now. And I have picked up dudes at the hotel bars, pools, saunas, etc., in major cities, usually at very good locations that would allow a determined str8 dude to seek female company.

Obviously, a few of the guys I have hooked up may have been your usual str8 acting gay or bi man. Yet, a few have been apparently pretty str8 in terms of their lifestyle, and would have probably preferred a female company. The practical aspect of life, the diminishing stigma, etc., probably influenced their actions, and they choose to have sex with a man who was readily available rather than go on a risky wild goose chase that may have landed them a female companion or not. Such guys invariably asked for absolute discretion, too. At least 3 or 4 of them admitted that they had had similar experience in the past and that doing it now and then did not change their self-perception of being str8.


No doubt that some men really 'outgrew' their HS/college gay phase. Once they got steady girlfriends and wives later on, their sexual needs were taken care of, and they saw no need to go back to m2m sex. Fun as having sex with them in the past used to be, you can see their point.

A few guys I knew however, admitted that they were going to force themselves into being str8 because of the stigma attached, their desire to have children, and generally belong to the mainstay of the society. I could see their point, too. At that time and age being gay (openly or not) was really an uphill struggle, and not everybody wanted to take that path. I hope that the results of the gaylib these days allow men who really feel that they enjoy sex with other men choose the path that feels more natural to them.

KD

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I find it so funny - they were sent off to single sex boarding schools where there were no girls to "distract" them from learning. Of the few guys I knew who went to boarding school where we talked sex one of them said "he never did it - but most of the other guys did at some point" and that masturbation no one worried about privacy that just happened.

The other buddy came back with the attitude of "you do what you need to do to get off".

What I find amazing are the number of guys that can have gay sex and not accept they are at least bi. You see posts of "my straight buddy and I blow each other...." or "my buddy is totally straight - but when drinking....". There is the guys desire to be straight and so many gay guys that desire to have sex with straight guys.

There are a lot of guys, especially growing up, that would have preferred women - but had no opportunity. One buddy as a teen would always say "I wish there were some girls here" right before suggesting we blow each other. It was like that made it "less gay" for us to fool around.




And if 3 or 4 ADMITTED it imagine how many really had done it!



I can understand this - and have known a number of guys who made it work.

But yet I also have known guys who after years of marriage got divorced because they felt they could not pretend any longer. And one buddy who I have known since the "sword fighting" days is married with kids and will be with her till he dies - but has told me that if he was growing up today with the changes in acceptance he is pretty sure he would be gay.

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I believe that a few may be lying through their teeth. Yet, I also see that a number of guys continue to perceive themselves as being str8 and nothing else, because they have a strong preference for having m2f sex but do meet other men for sex purely for practical reasons. A str8 guy who wants to have sex with a woman is running quite some risk that his investment in time and money may go nowhere. Hooking up with his buddy, whereas not as attractive an option in their eyes is usually a sure thing that does not involve any time and money investment. You can see their logic...

A few gay men are very keen of buddying up 'str8 guys'. It is an ego boost, and possibly a simple solution to their relationship issues. It is sex only, and will probably stay that way for good..


From his point of view, the whole thing was thus, less gay. He has stated his sexual preference which in his eyes confirmed his sexual orientation. Now, that there were no women available to satisfy his needs, he went with the next best option. A dude has got to do what he has to do to get his rocks off.

A guy with some life experience knows that life is usually very much about adapting to the circumstances and making the best out of them.

This is probably a bit of a cultural trait here. A few men here would rather admit to having sex with other men than not having sex at all or being perceived as 'solitary explorers' ONLY. I mean, if everybody else is having fun, and you are not, it usually means that something must be wrong with you. This is the perception very few people would like to have about themselves. Call it a rude score board issue but on the balance of things, people mostly regret the things they did not do...



This is probably the genuine dividing line between the functioning str8 guys who simply showed more flexibility at the times when they had little or no means to get involved with women; and who still may be having a degree of flexibility while being away from home, etc., and the guys who have always been homosexual but decided to suppress their genuine sexual orientation for a host of obvious reasons.

I sometimes hear the 'I would be gay today' comment from married str8 guys these days. No doubt, the grass is always greener on the other side for some people (who also tend to forget that the water bill is usually higher, too.) To the others, especially those who used to have m2m sex while still single, at college, while serving military, etc., the heterosexual mode somehow did not pay off. They got married, had children, bought houses with white picket fences and somehow thought that the general approval they have been enjoying would translate into tangible benefits. To some, conformism did pay off. For the many, it did not pay off at all. Life ended being a struggle between the proverbial dental bills and mortgage payments. And the fact that the people around him were all in approval of his lifestyle did not translate into any real life benefit. Looking back, some people regret their decision to sacrifice their identity and possibly, personal happiness for the sake of societal approval that did not end up paying for your groceries, promoting their careers, etc.

KD

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I always find this funny - the guys who insist they are straight but still sometimes have sex with men. When we were younger it made more sense - we were all a bit confused and dealing with the pressures of society. But as adults if you are still doing it at some point you should accept you are at least bisexual -




Every so often you hear about a couple that has been (at least publicly viewed as) happily married and suddenly the husband announces that he has always been gay and leaves the wife. These guys have spent their entire lives trying to suppress who they really are with varying degrees of success and then realize life is too short.

Hopefully the fact that being gay is not as stigmatized these days kids growing up will not feel as much pressure to enter into a life they do not want just to please family and society -

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