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Originally Posted by jonn3
I find it so funny - they were sent off to single sex boarding schools where there were no girls to "distract" them from learning. Of the few guys I knew who went to boarding school where we talked sex one of them said "he never did it - but most of the other guys did at some point" and that masturbation no one worried about privacy that just happened.
The other buddy came back with the attitude of "you do what you need to do to get off".
What I find amazing are the number of guys that can have gay sex and not accept they are at least bi. You see posts of "my straight buddy and I blow each other...." or "my buddy is totally straight - but when drinking....". There is the guys desire to be straight and so many gay guys that desire to have sex with straight guys.
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I believe that a few may be lying through their teeth. Yet, I also see that a number of guys continue to perceive themselves as being str8 and nothing else, because they have a strong preference for having m2f sex but do meet other men for sex purely for practical reasons. A str8 guy who wants to have sex with a woman is running quite some risk that his investment in time and money may go nowhere. Hooking up with his buddy, whereas not as attractive an option in their eyes is usually a sure thing that does not involve any time and money investment. You can see their logic...
A few gay men are very keen of buddying up 'str8 guys'. It is an ego boost, and possibly a simple solution to their relationship issues. It is sex only, and will probably stay that way for good..
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
There are a lot of guys, especially growing up, that would have preferred women - but had no opportunity. One buddy as a teen would always say "I wish there were some girls here" right before suggesting we blow each other. It was like that made it "less gay" for us to fool around.
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From his point of view, the whole thing was thus, less gay. He has stated his sexual preference which in his eyes confirmed his sexual orientation. Now, that there were no women available to satisfy his needs, he went with the next best option. A dude has got to do what he has to do to get his rocks off.
A guy with some life experience knows that life is usually very much about adapting to the circumstances and making the best out of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
And if 3 or 4 ADMITTED it imagine how many really had done it!
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This is probably a bit of a cultural trait here. A few men here would rather admit to having sex with other men than not having sex at all or being perceived as 'solitary explorers' ONLY. I mean, if everybody else is having fun, and you are not, it usually means that something must be wrong with you. This is the perception very few people would like to have about themselves. Call it a rude score board issue but on the balance of things, people mostly regret the things they did not do...
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
I can understand this - and have known a number of guys who made it work.
But yet I also have known guys who after years of marriage got divorced because they felt they could not pretend any longer. And one buddy who I have known since the "sword fighting" days is married with kids and will be with her till he dies - but has told me that if he was growing up today with the changes in acceptance he is pretty sure he would be gay.
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This is probably the genuine dividing line between the functioning str8 guys who simply showed more flexibility at the times when they had little or no means to get involved with women; and who still may be having a degree of flexibility while being away from home, etc., and the guys who have always been homosexual but decided to suppress their genuine sexual orientation for a host of obvious reasons.
I sometimes hear the 'I would be gay today' comment from married str8 guys these days. No doubt, the grass is always greener on the other side for some people (who also tend to forget that the water bill is usually higher, too.) To the others, especially those who used to have m2m sex while still single, at college, while serving military, etc., the heterosexual mode somehow did not pay off. They got married, had children, bought houses with white picket fences and somehow thought that the general approval they have been enjoying would translate into tangible benefits. To some, conformism did pay off. For the many, it did not pay off at all. Life ended being a struggle between the proverbial dental bills and mortgage payments. And the fact that the people around him were all in approval of his lifestyle did not translate into any real life benefit. Looking back, some people regret their decision to sacrifice their identity and possibly, personal happiness for the sake of societal approval that did not end up paying for your groceries, promoting their careers, etc.
KD