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Originally Posted by GASlick
Gettin stood up?? What about getting kicked out??
I met a guy online in a chat room that invited me to his hotel. We had traded pics and discussed what we liked. I drove to the hotel (20 minutes away) and knocked on the door...
...This guy and I did all the pic trading and he kicks me out.
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I know GASlick probably will never see this (15 years later) but maybe someone else will be helped.
"Shit happens." Even with accurate pics, once you see someone in person, they might be a different person than the one you thought you were getting. And vice versa.
I've been on both sides of this. Understanding that it happens & being gracious - is for sure the way to go.
The first time you're on the receiving end, it stings. Then you're on the other end (you really need to stop the encounter) and you learn, "Oh it's necessary sometimes, it's part of the risk of meeting" and it becomes no big deal.
I minimize the risk & hurt feelings by
- avoiding long-drive or high-investment encounters, keeping things local
- making some quick comment in the initial exchange that either party might need to back out upon meeting, and gets to; if the guy doesn't instantly say "Of course", that's a red flag
- asking a quick phone call; by hearing a voice, you can suss each other's vibe. If the person agrees but then doesn't actually call, that's a red flag. Get a burner number or "sex number" for this purpose; Google Voice is good enough. Don't give out your "real" number, which any Internet user can track to your real name & address.
- meeting in public places, or outside after giving a slightly-off address, etc.
- making clear that I hate poppers
I know opinions will vary. For me, the smell instantaneously makes me nauseous, shutting off my brain's sexual centers. The point: You may discover some pet peeve in yourself (or he might, for him) and whatever it is, it's best to say it up front, to prevent "unfortunate" encounters before they happen.
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I am totally punctual but have no problem with waiting for 15 min. for a guy and would give him 15 more, if he phones in or texts, saying he is on his way. But that's it.
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Agree, in principle.
With me, a guy gets a 20-minute window to *communicate* about his delay or his new plans. If he can't even communicate, then he's probably a bad lay and/or a total flake, so block. No, I don't care - at that point - if he was really on his way, or feels stood up.