The thing about online is you never know for sure who is answering your posts. If you meet someone in person what you see is what you get - there is no pretending - no 10 year old pictures posted - no "typo" which dropped 80 pounds of weight...

But you also never know for sure if the other guy wants the same thing you do....

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Whether in-person or online, you never really know.

At least in-person sometimes you might have eye contact or "chemistry." Other in-person cases might just have "atmosphere" where it doesn't matter, for example, who's on the other side of the hole in the wall.

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So true!

I sometimes see posts talking about how one of the great things about gay sex is it is about the sex - not the romance.

No where is that more true than a glory hole - it does not matter if he is tall or short, fat or thin, young or old - the only thing you know is there is a hard cock sticking through the hole.

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Last night an old friend sent me a link to this 2012 story from Salon, Rest stop confidential. I don't remember seeing it back then, but it seems germane:
I remember having that first "electrifying moment" at a rest stop somewhere near San Angelo decades ago. The little place had short partial dividers between the urinal and the toilet. Teenage Bob was at the urinal and a maybe 20-ish guy at the toilet was jerking off. I didn't know what to do, but the family was waiting in the car so I left.

Anyhow, for a lot of guys, the Apps or Craigslist or whatever just don't do the trick. You need the place, the men, the challenge of discovery, the freedom of the unknown and anonymous, the excitement of the forbidden - or at least, the socially unmentionable.

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I am familiar with Montjuic, and a few similar cruising grounds in Spain.

What keeps them alive and kicking is the sheer number of their gay patrons. You go to MJ or any other big and popular cruising ground knowing that you have good chances to hook up and have sex. You also know that you won't be alone, stuck on a trail with one or two guys who you may care as little about as they do about you. You know that you may see familiar faces; people whom you know well, or even guys who always nod with their heads when they see you because they know you 'from seeing'.

The Apps, Internet, Craig & Co. destroyed small, less popular cruising sites, theaters, smaller spas, quite a few clubs and bars, too.

Just like the use of Apps, cruising in public parks is perceived to be free of charge. This is a very significant part of their charm, especially in a country like Spain which is still having record numbers of unemployed people. If there is no direct, out of pocket expense, people are more tolerant when it comes to the conditions of use and the possible failure to get what they were hoping to get.

It is also true that public park cruising scores big time over the Apps on at least two counts.

First off, more and more folks are realizing that the apps show the pix that may be 10 or more years old. The stats shown are still using the old AOL M2M chat rooms' measurement system that had an 8 incher as the least you could offer to an interested bottom, who usually portrayed himself as a vers top...

Second off, the Apps are meant to foster communication. Good in itself, communication is not what each and every man wants. A few are happy to unload, or get some action and move on... The apps do not really work for them that well.

KD

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I remember that sense of familiarity and -- if not certainty, likelihood -- at San Diego's San Clemente Canyon when I lived in SD County from the mid-90s to early 2000s. I'd see some of the same guys at the part of Balboa Park I could walk to from one apartment where I lived.

Those were the days. I honestly can't deal with the Apps and the loss of personality in most interactions. Even the web sites, prior to Apps, were rarely a good venue for me. Nothing's quite like face to face or at least seeing something tangible and interested.

Sometimes, except when I edit and read the better Reviews on the Sex Listings, I feel like Rip Van Winkle. Because of personal relationships and issues that are finally being resolved, I was sort of asleep (or at least just watching from the sidelines) for years. Now I'm "awake" or at least becoming free, and the world has changed while I was taking a break.

I could go on at length but I'm late on work and must get on with it.

~ Bob

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Indeed, there is quite some loss of personality in those interactions.

People who are willing to make the effort, dress up or down, walk or drive to a specific cruising venue are effectively investing their time and energy and possibly even some money to hook up, see other dudes, etc.

Like it or not, such guys have a vested interest in hooking up, or at least treating everyone as real people whose advances they are free to accept or reject as the case may be.

Now, the apps/sites are taking away much of that minimal investment. People feel free to post fake pictures, fake stats, and they feel free to waste everybody's time if they choose to. They did not invest anything into their attempt to hook up, cruise whatever.

If is is for 'free' it ain't usually good either

KD

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