This Narratively piece came up in my Facebook News Feed when I looked through it last night while winding down at the end of a long day/night/whatever:

Why Having Gay Sex in a Park is Still Thriving in 2016 – Narratively

It's by Katia Repina and Luca Aimi, both photographers who work in Barcelona. There's some truly beautiful photos of the Parc de Montjuïc.

They write:
The photos are captioned with more quotes from men. You'll see a wide range of ages. Here's just a few:

“Every time I go to Montjuic I go up the hill through the same stairs. As I go up, that tingling sensation starts, like when you were a kid and there were presents to unwrap. It gets me every time.” – Aquiles, 25

“Going out to a bar to pick up someone? I tried that, but I am five-foot-three, nobody notices me, and wasting fifty Euros on drinks to look like a dwarf, trampled by all the other guys – no thanks! Hitting up guys on the internet, or on a date… it’s scarier. Picking up guys [in Montjuic] gave me more self-confidence, so that I dare to go to meet guys in other places. Not my entire sexual life is here, absolutely not!” – Francesc, 43, cruising for twenty years

“I like to watch the stars and feel free while I am fucking.” – Axel, 34

“What I like about cruising is that… I have no obligation or commitment; I won’t see them again, and I like that. That turns me on.” – Aquiles

“I come here for sex, but I also come for something more. That something more could be friendship, a conversation, maybe even a partner. Sometimes, I just come to have a walk, watch the people passing by. It’s true that the more you grow old, the less important sex becomes. Many people who I have been with know that the first thing I ask [for] is not even a kiss, but a hug. Because a hug often tells you more about this person, just by the way a person hugs you.” – Vincente, 47. He also talks about changes in his sex life relative to HIV.

I'm not including all, but all are worth reading and seeing the photos with them. This last one from Francesc is one I truly relate to, at least remembering my past: These days I don't have much personal time, and I'm OK with waiting and taking care of my elderly sick dogs and helping my ex move out. There's a time for everything.

~ Bob S.

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The thing about online is you never know for sure who is answering your posts. If you meet someone in person what you see is what you get - there is no pretending - no 10 year old pictures posted - no "typo" which dropped 80 pounds of weight...

But you also never know for sure if the other guy wants the same thing you do....

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Whether in-person or online, you never really know.

At least in-person sometimes you might have eye contact or "chemistry." Other in-person cases might just have "atmosphere" where it doesn't matter, for example, who's on the other side of the hole in the wall.

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So true!

I sometimes see posts talking about how one of the great things about gay sex is it is about the sex - not the romance.

No where is that more true than a glory hole - it does not matter if he is tall or short, fat or thin, young or old - the only thing you know is there is a hard cock sticking through the hole.

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Last night an old friend sent me a link to this 2012 story from Salon, Rest stop confidential. I don't remember seeing it back then, but it seems germane:
I remember having that first "electrifying moment" at a rest stop somewhere near San Angelo decades ago. The little place had short partial dividers between the urinal and the toilet. Teenage Bob was at the urinal and a maybe 20-ish guy at the toilet was jerking off. I didn't know what to do, but the family was waiting in the car so I left.

Anyhow, for a lot of guys, the Apps or Craigslist or whatever just don't do the trick. You need the place, the men, the challenge of discovery, the freedom of the unknown and anonymous, the excitement of the forbidden - or at least, the socially unmentionable.

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I am familiar with Montjuic, and a few similar cruising grounds in Spain.

What keeps them alive and kicking is the sheer number of their gay patrons. You go to MJ or any other big and popular cruising ground knowing that you have good chances to hook up and have sex. You also know that you won't be alone, stuck on a trail with one or two guys who you may care as little about as they do about you. You know that you may see familiar faces; people whom you know well, or even guys who always nod with their heads when they see you because they know you 'from seeing'.

The Apps, Internet, Craig & Co. destroyed small, less popular cruising sites, theaters, smaller spas, quite a few clubs and bars, too.

Just like the use of Apps, cruising in public parks is perceived to be free of charge. This is a very significant part of their charm, especially in a country like Spain which is still having record numbers of unemployed people. If there is no direct, out of pocket expense, people are more tolerant when it comes to the conditions of use and the possible failure to get what they were hoping to get.

It is also true that public park cruising scores big time over the Apps on at least two counts.

First off, more and more folks are realizing that the apps show the pix that may be 10 or more years old. The stats shown are still using the old AOL M2M chat rooms' measurement system that had an 8 incher as the least you could offer to an interested bottom, who usually portrayed himself as a vers top...

Second off, the Apps are meant to foster communication. Good in itself, communication is not what each and every man wants. A few are happy to unload, or get some action and move on... The apps do not really work for them that well.

KD

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I remember that sense of familiarity and -- if not certainty, likelihood -- at San Diego's San Clemente Canyon when I lived in SD County from the mid-90s to early 2000s. I'd see some of the same guys at the part of Balboa Park I could walk to from one apartment where I lived.

Those were the days. I honestly can't deal with the Apps and the loss of personality in most interactions. Even the web sites, prior to Apps, were rarely a good venue for me. Nothing's quite like face to face or at least seeing something tangible and interested.

Sometimes, except when I edit and read the better Reviews on the Sex Listings, I feel like Rip Van Winkle. Because of personal relationships and issues that are finally being resolved, I was sort of asleep (or at least just watching from the sidelines) for years. Now I'm "awake" or at least becoming free, and the world has changed while I was taking a break.

I could go on at length but I'm late on work and must get on with it.

~ Bob

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Indeed, there is quite some loss of personality in those interactions.

People who are willing to make the effort, dress up or down, walk or drive to a specific cruising venue are effectively investing their time and energy and possibly even some money to hook up, see other dudes, etc.

Like it or not, such guys have a vested interest in hooking up, or at least treating everyone as real people whose advances they are free to accept or reject as the case may be.

Now, the apps/sites are taking away much of that minimal investment. People feel free to post fake pictures, fake stats, and they feel free to waste everybody's time if they choose to. They did not invest anything into their attempt to hook up, cruise whatever.

If is is for 'free' it ain't usually good either

KD

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The other thing about the apps - it is like shopping on Amazon - everyone goes for the new model with the highest reviews - leaving a lot of us who are getting older feeling like a museum exhibit.

But in person maybe you realize that "last years model" works just as well and perhaps even better since he is willing to put more effort into the hook up!

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I like that analogy a lot! I've always said, both in personal life and in work, if it ain't broke don't fix it!

That's not to say there aren't a lot of broken things on CFS, but we'll deal with those in due time.

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I agree with Bob. I like the analogy, too.

I also see every reason for any cruiser to keep on testing his daily fresh meat market value. The chances are that we do very much so in real life cruising, too.

The Apps however, presuppose a degree of verbal communication. Real life cruising is often rather nonverbal, and if possibly very personal it tends to be very NSA.

Most guys are cruising to get their rocks off, I daresay... So, a willing and cooperative partner out there is whom you are after. You are not marrying the guy today. No promises are being made, and hardly anyone has to know... So, his and your fresh meat market values are of somewhat lesser importance.

Once you hook up via an App, this other guy 'knows' you. He knows how to get in touch with you over and over again. You may or may not block him, but he may be posting under yet another profile, etc.

Verbal communication is rarely bad per se. But it can ruin a perfectly good sexual vibe. Whom you find sexually attractive may be very different from whom you find socially desirable.

When it comes to NSA m2m sex, there is no place like here and no better time than now!

KD

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You know, if I'd programmed a "Like" or "React" button as in Facebook, I'd be "Liking" every post you guys have made here.

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