Have asked this question before, and there's usually lots of activity, but actually, never a definitive answer, or an answer that the majority seems to agree with. Here we go again. What, basically, is the difference between a top and a bottom? Who does what, and to whom? Why does there (usually) seem to be in such disagreement?

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Jabberwocky

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Simple, Top and Bottom refer to who's doing the fucking during anal sex. A Top fucks, the Bottom get's fucked. Not sure how more definitive it can get ;-)

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According to the unabridged and authoritarian guidebook for gay, bisexual and straight-curious males, You Might Be Queer by Anonymous, a top is the male who fucks another male in the arse and a bottom is the male who gets his arse fucked by another male.


Culturally speaking, the terms 'top' and 'bottom' refer to anal intercourse roles for males. To keep it simple, if you are a male and your arse is being penetrated by another male's cock, you are fulfilling the sex role as a bottom. Conversely, if you are a male and it is your cock that is penetrating another male's arse, you are fulfilling the sex role as a top.

The guidebook I referenced above is either out-of-print or the manuscript was never published. However ...

Generally speaking, the terms 'top' and 'bottom' are unique to gay and bisexual male culture as they narrowly define sex roles when males engage in the practice of anal intercourse with other males ... regardless of whether the male self-identifies as either gay, bisexual or straight-curious.

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Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. And, under a just God, cannot long retain it.

-- Abraham Lincoln

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Like it or not, sex still follow the hetero model. Tops are expected to be in charge. When cruising, they are expected to ask the question, "top or bottom?" If you want to be the bottom, you act the bottom - being less aggressive, agreeing with him more, listening more, talk softer, laugh at his lewd jokes even if he's indirectly refering to what he's going to be doing to you. By this time you should not be surprised when he takes you in bed.

Like looking4funnow, I consider myself versatile. But I prefer to be bottom. I can undesatnd why looking4funnow's rooommate prefer to be exclusive bottom, being fucked can bring fantastic orgasm. Why do you think we have so many bottoms amongst us?

But when I meet a guy as cute as Dean Coulter, I become a bossy top and fuck the hell out of him. Believe me, we have plenty of those around here. I don't want to be an exclusive bottom and miss out.

What I don't understand is how some guys say they don't do anal? Oral, kissing, handjob are all foreplay to the final act. They feel too light to be the main course only enough to be the entree. It's not sex until we do the fucking. The intense feelings involved is heavy enough to satisfy real sexual hunger.

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