When I said he must have lots of girls chasing him for sex he replies "mai chai, mai mii ngen" no, can't afford it. Even young guys pay for sex in Thailand.

It cost to have a girlfriend in Thailand. I don't know about this man, but a Thai with a salary that just cover the cost for room and food most of the time can not afford to have a girlfriend. Thai girlfriends can be costly, they expect gifts, to be taken out for dinner and cinema etc. The boy is most of the time expected to pay. So your masseur might not be talking about cash.
I have met many young Thai complaining about this. It is the same in most countries in SEA.

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-- Last night, (sat.), my 30YO. & Fils'. friend, who's enjoying his 1st. visit to the LoS., and I were supping in 'DICK'S CAFE.', (Soi Twilight.), at around 21.30hrs..
- I haven't see that Soi so busy for a long time.
- My friend remarked on the way that the barkers were directing the tourists and others into their particular a go-go bars - especially to the upstairs 'DREAMBOYS BARBEIR.'.
-- bibi.. --

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Are you referring to RubyHanoi? or me? I think he's been around awhile and, as I said in another thread, LOS has been home for me for nearly eleven years.

I will agree with you that some things do change radically over time. Some farangs, for example. I think they find it difficult to adjust to new things and allow personal frustrations to color everything.

The guy I took off from one of the bars in Soi Twilight last week was as good ( and I think much better) than the ones I offed when I first visited Bangkok as a tourist in the early '90s or any time since. And, by "better" I mean he was sexy, energetic, enthusiastic and had an impossibly loveable personality. I offed him for three days and he ended up staying with me a week and I'll be seeing him again very soon.

As soon as he left and I was feeling down, I got a call from another boy I frequently take off. He had gone home for Songkran, but wanted to come back sooner than planned and he wants to see me sooner than we had planned. How can you not love these guys?

Yes, I know they want the money (although the guy from Soi Twilight extended his stay with me stipulating he didn't expect more money). But I would rather spend the money on them than some analyst or popping feel-good pills, and I know I feel better after a few hours with them than I would with a shrink who would want even more money and for whom I would be just another "customer."

If you want to see everybody and everything as crap, then I guess it becomes a self-fulfilling thing. There have always been boys working in the bars who weren't really suited for the work. If you've been in the Kingdom for as long as you claim, you should be able to filter out a lot of them pretty quickly. If your filter lets through a disappointment, forget it and move on. Being bitter about it doesn't help. I still contend that 90% of the time I have a great time with the boys I off and many of those remain repeat offs for a long time because we both end up having a good time.

I don't know how long you've been here. I doubt if it's been much longer than me. Things have changed, but change can be good.

Most of the guys speak better English than the ones I took off 15 years ago and, coupled with my improving (but still inadequate) Thai, we communicate on a broader range of things than was ever possible before.

Every boy I have offed, including the occasional dud, wanted to see me again, and those who I have offed repeatedly have only got better as we learned more about one another.

I don't worry about whether all the bars in Bangkok are getting better or worse. All I consider is that, with very little effort, I have several great boys I off regularly who are a joy to be with and, if I want a change, I have never failed to find someone new that has been equally enjoyable ... in all possible ways.

I'm continually amazed at how well these guys do what they do.

Sorry that you can't find what you're looking for and that it's making you so unhappy. Maybe your approach needs to change... like everything else in Thailand.

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Great reply and a lot of truth


However I'm sure it would help the boys mentioned and some visitors if you gave specific info on the boy as to where we could find him.

thanks

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You are probably right and I am probably being overly protective, but I'd feel like I was setting them up for one of the board curmudgeons to off them, treat them like crap and then report to everyone that I didn't know what I was talking about.

And besides, someone who really appeals to me might not be right for others.I'm not confusing these encounters with anything romantic, but they still require a chemistry between you both in order for it to be good for you both.

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My somewhat facetious reply was in response to RubyHanoi's ridiculous implication that everyone in Pattaya had one foot in the grave and the local bar boys' behavior reflected that.

I'm not sure if waddling into a series of gogo bars and picking out one of the boys on stage fits the general definition of cruising for sex any more than going to a over-stocked fish farm and hauling in some trout from a tiny cement lined tank could be called deep-sea fishing.

If anything, this proves my somewhat facetious point in that the presence of anyone "really hot & young" was a notable exception from the usual run of aged or appearance-challenged denizens of the bars and, contrary to your comment above, these young, sexy visitors didn't intend to pay for sex.

Chowp means "like." Want would be "tongarn."

I don't visit the bars daily for new "conquests" as it seems some of the more prolific (and unhappy) posters here do, simply because I tend to stick with the same guys, but whenever I have been in them the customers look like people whose only hope of "getting any" is if it's confined to a cement lined tank in a fish farm, metaphorically speaking. I'm fairly certain that the majority of bar customers are tourists. Most Thailand residents, even the old decrepit ones would quickly tire of the bar scene unless they were truly desperate or the proverbial "sticky shits," or kii-dtuut or Kii-niow.

And before anyone throws a hissy fit, I assure you that I fit in quite nicely with that stereotype. I am a resident of Thailand, I'm over 60 and I readily admit the only way I'm going to have the sort of liason I hunger for is if the other party works in a bar.

If you spot any hot young things in the audience, rest asured they don't expect to pay for it and/or this is their first time in the Land of Smiles after they were booted out of the monastery.

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A lot has been said about chemistry between the bar boys and customers. This is the truth. I have lived here in Bangkok for 6 years now. At present I am not a frequent visitor to these establishments.....about every other month these days, but when I first moved here and even when I used to visit on vacation I was a frequent bar hopper.

Once in a great while, if a bar boy took a liking to you, he would even offer to go with you for free, either after work or just for paying the bar fee. I know there will be many naysayers here about this, but it had happened to me about 10 times over the last 9 years or so. These boys most often were completely gay (i.e. not gay for pay) and either were attracted to me, or just wanted to make a friend. I am still friends with a few of them to this day. Two of them in particular would often call me after work (separately) if they had no customer, just to ask to stay at my house and sleep.

As is always the case, each and every situation and relationship is different.

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Yes ! I'm still amazed that one guy who was so looking forward to going home to see Mama for Songkran called me to announce he was cutting short his visit and wanted to see me. Life back in the village can be awfully boring after they've tasted city life and city life can be lonely. It's nice to know they enjoy the time they've spent with you.

Particularly if you are resident here, so the boys know you're not vanishing in a week or two, and if you treat them nicely, they can really open up, reveal an amazing personality beneath the bar boy facade and make you feel good in a whole lot of ways that go beyond what the fuck 'em, forget 'em and pay the minimum bar hoppers will ever know.

And it's not just the gay guys. The boy who spent a week with me after I paid him for three days is straight, well muscled and at first had a somewhat rough demeanor, and the most amusing thing I've seen in awhile was him sitting naked, literally on the edge of the sofa, totally enthralled watching Over the Hedge on HBO, a cartoon movie with talking animals. It was one of the few things he watched on TV in which 100's of people weren't blown up, shot or torn asunder, but it totally fascinated him.

Thanks for sharing. It's nice to know others have found many of these boys to be so enjoyable to be with. I suspect there are a lot of men resident in Thailand who have regular favorites in the bars with whom they've established rewarding relationships even when cash & sex were the basis for them originally getting together.

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Are you confusing us with your therapist ?

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Hardly. Some of the "us" you refer to are apparently clinically depressed themselves. As I said above

As long as these boys are available, who needs therapy?

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A mamasan gave me her business card the other night - the job description was "Sales Engineer" ..

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One of the boys who used to work in Dream Boy told his visiting mother (from up-country) that he worked the night shift in a call center

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Last week I offed a 20 y.o. from Happy Boys in Pattaya (very nice bar I only just discovered ...a bit like Jungle Boys and Rock Hard wrapped into one....cute boys dancing on small platforms around the room wearing only revealing red-indian flaps)....anyway, he phoned his mum when we got back to the condo to tell her he was spending the night with a farang customer!

....and on the subject of therapists, 20 years ago my (then) wife sent me to two therapists to try and "cure" me. The first invited me to spend a week at his private hospital where his therapy would consist of showing me pics of cute naked asian boys while administering large electric shocks (aversion tharapy). How I asked him, was that supposed to make me attracted to women , rather than leaving me as a completely screwed up sexless person?I made a few suggestions as to where he could attach his terminals and left.

The second was a female "non-directive councillor" who gave me one hour therapy sessions where she said absolultey nothing and waited while I recounted what I did and why.....by the 3rd session I realised that I was telling here the same story of marital misery and sexual preference as I was telling to my several male toy boys. I therefore imparted this gem of wisdom to her, adding that the boys were a fraction of the price, and far more fun that her....and also that the prostitues were more effective as they actually understood how I felt. So much for therapy!

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You should read Tom Sharpe's Indecent Exposure. http://www.amazon.com/Indecent-Expos...8855764&sr=8-2

Somewhat dated in that it is set in Apartheid era South Africa but hilarious nonetheless. Among other things:

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Amen. You would think the boys would be a reimbursable outpatient expense on BUPA medical insurance and/or deductible when computing income tax.

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