Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
You are very lucky that you and your friends were open enough to know about each other - for the most part our closets were closed so tight we had no idea - and it was so frustrating when years later you find out that a guy you thought was hot fooled around with someone you knew - but you had no idea he was into guys! I will never forget when I found out Will got walked in on getting fucked in college - DAMN! I had been jacking off over him since he was on the jr high swim team!
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This is probably where the different cultural traits kicked in. In a sense we were all in closet. You did not tell your parents, your family, friends, and the guys you knew that you were gay, and that you were actually having sex with other guys.
On the other hand, all of my friends have heard stories from our fathers, uncles, elder brothers, etc., that they all had had their best friends and buddies with whom they were spending lots of time in their day. A real man was not spending his time with girls, doing girly stuff. You'd hang out with you your buddies. No one mentioned all the details but you quickly figured out that most likely, hanging out with your buddies probably included some fun on the side, while the girls were really not available for the sweaty, sex stuff.
We talked amongst each other, because the guy with whom you had sex was bound by his promise of absolute discretion. He, too, shared his experiences with you, for the same reason. The actual fact that you shared common sexual experience made you a trustworthy person. You became one of his gang, and he became one of yours. In that sense, none of us knew the word "closet", and none of us really experienced any of the side effects of living in total secrecy.
Naturally, life interfered. One of my closest buddies was walked in while he was fucking a willing dude in the storage room for janitor's supplies at his college. He was attending an arts academy, so by far, most guys were pretty liberal anyway, and the story became a sort of an anecdote. They promised to keep it down, and find better places for their little fun and games in the future, but nothing else came out of this little incident.
The bottom dude, who was another friend of mine insisted that his top (albeit, a very versatile one) dude told him BEFORE the play, that he was not going to be seeing him for a while. When asked why, he laconically replied, "Dude I'll be fucking you from the back, so we won't be seeing each other..."
Everyone used to agree in those days that being gay was not really a good thing for anyone. But hardly anyone expected the guys not to have sex until they got married. A great degree of tolerance came out of this general attitude.
KD