Exactly - we were horny teenage boys looking to get off and you were giving each other what you needed. As you say - we all knew what it was - no one called it a "pussy" you knew what you were doing and if your partner said "no lets just blow each other" you knew what he meant and enjoyed the BJ.



Yeah - we were horny teenage boys looking to cum - there was no thought really of love or romance - it was about sex. There might be some twinges if your buddy got a steady girlfriend - concern that he was out growing "playing around" and there were a few guys who you sort of realized were going to be gay who might be a bit jealous - but for the most part it was about making each other feel good.




You are very lucky that you and your friends were open enough to know about each other - for the most part our closets were closed so tight we had no idea - and it was so frustrating when years later you find out that a guy you thought was hot fooled around with someone you knew - but you had no idea he was into guys! I will never forget when I found out Will got walked in on getting fucked in college - DAMN! I had been jacking off over him since he was on the jr high swim team!

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This is probably where the different cultural traits kicked in. In a sense we were all in closet. You did not tell your parents, your family, friends, and the guys you knew that you were gay, and that you were actually having sex with other guys.

On the other hand, all of my friends have heard stories from our fathers, uncles, elder brothers, etc., that they all had had their best friends and buddies with whom they were spending lots of time in their day. A real man was not spending his time with girls, doing girly stuff. You'd hang out with you your buddies. No one mentioned all the details but you quickly figured out that most likely, hanging out with your buddies probably included some fun on the side, while the girls were really not available for the sweaty, sex stuff.

We talked amongst each other, because the guy with whom you had sex was bound by his promise of absolute discretion. He, too, shared his experiences with you, for the same reason. The actual fact that you shared common sexual experience made you a trustworthy person. You became one of his gang, and he became one of yours. In that sense, none of us knew the word "closet", and none of us really experienced any of the side effects of living in total secrecy.

Naturally, life interfered. One of my closest buddies was walked in while he was fucking a willing dude in the storage room for janitor's supplies at his college. He was attending an arts academy, so by far, most guys were pretty liberal anyway, and the story became a sort of an anecdote. They promised to keep it down, and find better places for their little fun and games in the future, but nothing else came out of this little incident.

The bottom dude, who was another friend of mine insisted that his top (albeit, a very versatile one) dude told him BEFORE the play, that he was not going to be seeing him for a while. When asked why, he laconically replied, "Dude I'll be fucking you from the back, so we won't be seeing each other..."

Everyone used to agree in those days that being gay was not really a good thing for anyone. But hardly anyone expected the guys not to have sex until they got married. A great degree of tolerance came out of this general attitude.

KD

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It's so familiar, what was said and what wasn't said. When I came out to my father in in the mid-1980s he, a former Air Force officer, said he'd "known guys who did this" or words to that effect and was OK with me. I didn't ask more about it, he didn't tell, and we went on with the business of having a more open and honest relationship. I actually took him and his girlfriend out to dinner at a DC gay bar/restaurant. They were fine, as far as I could tell.

There was no mention of his being Catholic and going to church every Sunday and my being brought up that way, nor the Church's teachings. It was the same thing as when he and I had talked about masturbation in the 1970s. Part of the Catholic heritage, I think, recognized that "the flock" did not always live by the admonitions from on high but also lived by their own conscience and decisions, whether sub rosa or vocally. That became even moreso after Vatican II in the early 60s.

Now of course our culture celebrates openness and freedom and people are urged to be increasingly public about who they are and what they do. Mass media is part, and the Internet, and especially the explosion of social media. I wonder sometimes how much we've abandoned of those "secret" private spaces where we could once explore and try things with being identified and labeled or labeling ourselves.

Enough with that, time to get on with my other work for all of you on this site.

Bob

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In some respects "don't ask don't tell" was not just a military stance - it was the way of the world for generations. "Uncle Bob" wasn't gay - he was your "bachelor uncle".

I am sure my parents had their suspicions why Steve and I spent the night at each others house so much - but it was never talked about.



A couple of years ago a friend down the street who is VERY Catholic and I were talking about TV and she mentioned how much she and her husband laughed at an episode of Parenthood where the teenage son was taking long and frequent showers... as their son did the same thing. I made some stupid comment about "but that is a Catholic no-no" and she just said "we gave up on that one a long time ago - you pick your battles" and I thought for a woman who has told me she and her husband waited for their wedding night I was glad she was not trying to go crazy with ancient dogma for her son....

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This is supposed to be a dirty stories section??????

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Got a story for us, Goof?

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It is not just fiction stories - it is often tales of things have happened - which can lead to some fun discussions -

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Many of here have been hanging around these boards for a while now.

We have read a number of dirty stories, too. One way or the other, a guy bumps into another guy, (or a group), and some sexual action invariably takes place. If it doesn't, it ain't dirty.

After a while, everyone starts looking around and exploring the contexts. This is, actually, the juicy bit. The fact that the two guys got together and fucked, is pretty much a given. The events that led to the encounter, and what happened past the actual act is what keeps many people coming back to the stories section.

KD

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As you said - that must have been a cultural difference. We had sex - but really never talked about it until we were ready for the next time.

And we never mentioned names - I remember years later talking with a long time sex buddy and he mentioned that he had found a mutual friend on Facebook and that he was married with kids. I was surprised and said "Mike has a wife? I was sure he was going to end up gay" and that led to my buddy finding out Mike and I had fooled around and he was pissed I never told him so he could have as well!




Exactly - girls did not put out as often or as easily as guys wanted - and I know a lot of guys who fooled around for a time - at least until a bit older when they got girlfriends that would take care of their needs.

There were also a number of guys that were not into gay sex - but that did not mean you might not jack off together if someone had porn or you were in a situation where you had limited privacy. After all we all saw each other showering in gym class so seeing his cock was not a big deal....

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It is so different now - you see kids in coming out as gay at 13....

Even though we were having gay sex - you never talked about it as "gay" just as "being horny". Top / bottom / oral whatever it was about guys needing to get off and needing more than just their own hand.

And most of the guys I fooled around with went on to get married and have children. I have no idea how many of them still think back on those days or perhaps play around on the side - I am sure some do - but a lot of them just wanted and needed the sex and once they started to get girls regularly the time with guys faded away.

And that was just an accepted part of it back then.

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Yup. The society is getting more transparent, and everyone is supposed to tell everything about themselves on the social networks, in order to get any life whatsoever.

This is good to some extent. Yet, I cannot stop wondering if every 13 year old really knows that he is gay? I am also wondering if he fully understands the consequences of his coming out, too. I have little doubt that some folks do it at a very young age because a friend who is otherwise totally cool did it, so they do not want to be seen as lagging behind.

I seriously doubt that just because some guys fool around with other dudes in their HS/college days, ALL of them are really gay, and ALL of them want to adopt the full gay lifestyle.

I also doubt that ALL the straight guy ever forget that they did mess around with other guys in their time and day. These experiences are part of whom they are, and in many ways, they are liberating experiences. Such guys rarely become hostages of the heteronormative society. They know pretty well that there is an alternative sexual outlet out there. M2M sex may now not be their first choice but the experience is here, and it carries quite some weight.

KD

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Thanks to the miracles of modern technology I am still in touch with a few of my old teenage playmates - and most all of them are not gay or living the gay lifestyle - they are married with kids and seem very happy.

I have no idea what could have happened if we had been caught or outed - but to them it was not love - it was not a lifestyle - it was SEX. We were teenage boys and our cocks needed more than just our hands - and as they say "any port in a storm". Some of the guys were clearly more into it that others and I suspect could still be bi (if they act on it I have no way of knowing) but others I knew we fooled around but as more and more girls started to put out they were less and less into it - and it was clear - they were far from gay - they had just been horny.

What might have happened if they had felt pressure to come out at that age I don't know - but I do know we would not have hung out like we did as at that age I would have been to afraid to spend all my time hanging out with a publicly known gay guy....

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