And if you have them stay overnight, instead of letting them eat with you, you could just let them sort through a dumpster.

I'm going to assume that this somehow sounds more exploitive and ugly than you meant it to be.

If you know some of these guys and they actually have your mobile number and they are so desperate for rent, food or whatever...and you see this as an opportunity to take advantage of their desperation ... wow. That's actually nauseating.

Quote |

You are absolutely right and I apologise if it came across that way. My main target was expensive bar drinks, and for my part my tipping poilcy is constant around the year. I can't support them all, but I have given one favoured sweet boy 5,000 baht to get through this month, no favours expected.

Icon , after my mea culpa has been viewed by Mii_Kwaam_suk et al, I think it best to delete the thread.

Quote |

Don't think Biggles came across like that at all.The response to him was po-faced and a touch nanny-state lecture.If I may opine freely.

Quote |

You mean like a "Department of Homeland Security" announcement in a US airport?

Quote |

We seem to be having a spate of nanny-state lectures lately, no?

Quote |

Oh, I don't know. The emotional rants in one form or another have been going on for a long time. Certainly some of them have been lectures, nanny-state or condescending:

While others are failed attempts at being patronizing, the assumption being that someone who is terminally negative about life has been in Thailand longer than someone who is not cynical about everything.

And then going on with the aforementionned erroneous assumption about who has lived in Thailand longer...
...we get hit with the cries de coeur of those whose cranky methodolgy seems not to be working very well and who apparently wants some nanny-state tea & sympathy.

Anyone need a nanny-state hanky to wipe away the tears as the sun sets on the wise old farang "standing on the street alone?"

Quote |

I rest my case. Thanks so much for helping me prove it.

Quote |

You're far too modest. You provided all the proof with your extensive baa humbug lectures. I just organized it.

Quote |

I am sorry if both your original comment and my response sounded harsher than they were intended to be.

There are a fairly small number of regular posters on this board but, based on the number of people who read some of the threads, there are many, many lurkers who (probably)have not yet visited Thailand or rarely do. They undoubtedly "learn" a great deal from the experiences of those who do post.

I only recently bothered to register myself although I have been reading posts here for some time. What motivated me to register was that I felt too many people were making the boys sound as though they were lazy, dishonest or difficult to deal with and therefore financial generosity when tipping them was somehow foolish. My view is that the majority are performing a difficult job quite spectacularly and when they are treated as more than pretty pieces of meat, they will make the time you spend with them even more enjoyable ... for all concerned.

I realize that no one died and left me in charge of defending the boys who work in the bars or elsewhere, but I still would rather risk sounding like a meddling old biddy than to leave the impression that the boys are here to opportunistically exploit.

Actually after posting my comment I was going to go back and edit some of what I said so it wouldn't sound quite so harsh, at which point my TOT DSL service crashed and only just now revived.

Quote |

I think you are right.The regular posters here seem to be sensitive to the situation of Thai people and don't take advantage.The assumption is that readers know about safe sex and the wrongs of exploitation and the accent here is on fun cruising.It is hard not to become outraged when respect is violated and the financially powerful run amok.We all witness some ghastly attitudes now and then in bars and less so come across them here.

An example of the weird people who gravitate to Thailand is shown ad nauseum on nightly news of the Austrian who held his daughter captive in the basement and fathered children.His holiday videos taken here make you wonder about his behaviour on the visit and hope his liasons were not too dreadful for the locals.

Quote |

-- Just wondering - were this an 'Ortho-sexual.', (ie. non-g*y site.), would we be writing-in and taking such a benevolent and indulgent view of the Phat Pong, and elsewhere, ladies of the night?
-- Bibi.. --

Quote |

I doubt if there is a correct answer to that.

Since the breeders out-number us by such a large multiple and their pursuits are deemed more "normal" I don't even know if they feel the need to seek out such websites as this to share insights about interactions with the girls.

If they do, I would assume there exists amongst them the exploitive fcuk-'em and forget-'em individuals and those whose objective is to settle into a monogamous marriage with the little woman treated like a princess, and all the variations in between.

I guess world-wide the greatest number of people sexually abused and exploited would be women and girls, but I also think boys are ignored on the assumption they can look after themselves (and also because many organizations supposedly dedicated to human welfare don't want to even think about queers).

I'm sure most of the boys (who are in fact men) can look after themselves more or less successfully, and if things don't pan out they can probably head back to the village and find some haven amongst the family. I also realize some of them pitch fabricated stories of misery to those of us with soft hearts, but I guess I would like to think of myself as being marginally above the stereotypical sex tourist (in residence). In some respects we are all exploiting the economic difficulties in this part of the world, but I suppose you could make the case that these guys are exploiting our need for something not readily available in many places ... and I do mean something that goes beyond mechanical anonymous sex.

Anyway, I don't want to sound like Mother Superior. I just think most of these guys are truly great, although I'm basing it on a smaller sample than some (someone mentionned offing over three hundred boys??). I tend to stick with the same guys for a fairly long time before moving on. I feel better about it all if I treat them kindly. Their lives probably aren't all that great now and in all probability will get worse as they get older. Hopefully, at least for awhile, they can feel that someone cares about them for more than a few sweaty moments in some hotel room.

PS. I realize this is totally irrelevant to this thread and has nothing to do with the raison d'etre of CFS, but is anyone else in Thailand been having major problems with the Internet, expecially TOT, the past couple of days? I went nearly 24 hours with zip and today it's been off and on (even more off and on than usual).

Quote |

Not exactly a message board but "Stickman Weekly" is a hetero site that contains information from people who have been burnt by their experiences seeking relationships plus a guide to how best go about it.Have not read it for a while but it used to be explicit.

Quote |