Obviously those amongst us who visit Thailand for relatively short amounts of time, maybe once a year or even less often, do devote a considerable amount of their time here to the bars, massage venues, saunas, etc. Once you’ve returned home it’s enjoyable to relive some of your experiences by composing reports of where you went and what you experienced and sharing them with everyone.

On the other hand, for those of us who are permanently resident here, I wonder how much of one’s’ time is spent going to gogo bars, getting massages, standing at mall urinals, crawling through the bushes at Lumpini and otherwise filling the hours with activities that are to some degree sex-related … and then feverishly reporting it.

I sometimes think I spend too much time in these pursuits, but basically I hit Bangkok for a day about once a month and occasionally visit a bar to off a boy in Pattaya or get a massage. The latter seems to run in cycles. I may do several bars in one week ( or at least call several boys in one week for a home visit) and then go a month or even several months without bothering. One factor for me is that I do have a long-term friend who stays with me for a week or two at a time, but we never go to gogo bars or such. I’m fairly certain he would think I had gone round the bend if I ever suggested it.

There seem to be a few people here who apparently do little else other than visit every possible gogo bar, cruising spot or massage venue in Bangkok, Pattaya and lesser locales and dutifully report every possible detail including latitude and longitude. I’m sure we all appreciate the effort made and I like to run through the bar & massage reports before my monthly trip to the Big Mango, but do any of you ever feel it’s taking up a disproportionate amount of your lives?

Those of you who live here full-time, how much of your life is given over to the bars etc? Are you comfortable with that or could your life be becoming a little too narrowly focused?

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I've lived and worked here well over 20 years:

- First 3 years, went out to the saunas (mostly Babylon in it's first location) two or three nights a week, and go-go venues at least twice a week.

- Today: Go to saunas perhaps twice a year, go-go bars once a month, massage about once a month.

- Occassionally I have old friends visit who of course want to hit the bars every night, I go with them and enjoy their company but often I'm bored with the repetition of the shows etc.

- I've also found a very happy 'family' life and that's much more important to me.

- Also become part of a small network of farang long-term residents with Thai partners, we share lots of good discussion (not about barboys), enjoy funny moments together, cook together, and support each other emotionally etc.

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Dear Kaojai

Well stated. Personally, I’ve thought of writing a similar message recently, but you’ve done a fine job in my view. My comments below are a little more critical.

I’ve lived in BKK for many years. There are so many wonderful things in BKK apart from chasing boys 1/3 your age, and then boasting about the exploit. I find it incredible to imagine the incredible waste of time some spend on their pursuits, and the degree of reporting every unnecessary detail, is downright pathetic.

Is it really necessary to have to take a bus to the far reaches of BKK to explore a new toilet, and then to report on the urinal number, on what floor, in which building, and at what time, someone saw someone else take a piss? I guess some people do not have more meaningful ways to spend their time on this Earth. I think this forum has become an excuse for sad and lonely men to try stroke their egos.

I’m sure there’ll be a lot of attacks and some pathetic attempts to justify their actions, blah, blah, blah, but face it, a lot of what I’ve read here is pretty disturbing behavior.

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You're right. I've found myself sitting next to a glory hole for an hour or more, hoping for someone to feed me his cock and load. Many times nothing happened. When it does, it's very exciting. It's a rush, and that's (part of) the reason many of us go to toilets, parks, theaters & elsewhere to make random, anonymous hook-ups.

As for the reporting such ventures, it's partly 'reporting'. But mostly I'd say it's ego, at least for me. There is a certain enjoyment about people saying "Man! I wish that was me!" I used to be one of those people fantasizing. Now I'm one who's living that dream.

But part of it is to pass along information. That's part of what this site is about, cruising and community.

__________________
My Mouth Is Your Cum Receptacle...

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My experience parallels scoops. For bars, though, it is much, much less than once a month. Maybe once every six months. Saunas, maybe once per month. Cruising, every now or then.

It is mostly a steady group of fuck buddies (non-commercial) that satisfies my urges these days.

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For the moment, two sets of questions:

1. If what one reads is so pathetic, disturbing, and unnecessary, why read it? Is appreciating the reports but criticizing the reporter akin to offing a "boy" but telling him sex is a sin? Or getting a haircut but telling the barber his job is beneath contempt? Or getting your c*c* s*c*ed (as the inimitable Sextile might put it), then fag-bashing the fellator?

2. Why bother telling a churl that you're not doing what she's churlish about? Is it like telling a racist, "I'm really not like that"?

Cupidman's take is a good one. And, as icon513 noted recently, "The quantity and detail of information posted here is just a speck compared to what appears on Thai boards like Palm Plaza and TMM." Those Thais must be horridly, horridly obsessed.

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Hello... This website is cruisingforsex.com... LOL

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If you fail to appreciate the community spirit by which men are motivated to share their info about hot guys, hot massage venues and, yes, a hot toilet stall on the out reaches of town, why then do you come here? That is a bit like me going to CNN.com and complaining all they do is write about the news.

Keith

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I would have thought any sort of community spirit would imply a concern for members of the community.

I was simply observing that a few people seem to spend an inordinate amount of their time in the bars, massage venues and public toilets and have become obsessed with details.

I enjoy reading reports on the bars, etc from a wide spectrum of people with differing points of views whenever I plan my increasingly rare visits to Bangkok since it helps me to plan my day or two there.

Nothing that goes on in those places offends me nor do the adventures of those who report. I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong with those pursuits ... and it would be the height of hypocrisy for me to take that view.

Some expats who live here spend increasing amounts of time in bars drinking. Their descent into alcoholism (and usually depression) is sad to see. Of course what they do is none of my business, but if it were someone I had some interaction with I might still suggest they look for other things to do at least some of the time. Yes, that would make me a busy-body, but how could you claim a sense of community if you simply let them drink themselves into oblivion?

Likewise, some people who have lived here for an extended period of time seem to have no other activity other than pursuing sex in commercial venues. Even reading their endless reports you find them complaining about the shows and the boys and the smoking and, and, and. Even they admit it’s no longer enjoyable.

It's still none of my business, but the thought first arose because at times I think I spend too much time obsessing about such things and I see that, or worse, in others. Maybe from time to time we need to ask ourselves if we're letting something that was once an enjoyable part of our lives become an unsatisfying addiction.

We might joke about the thread count on the sheets in a hotel, but …

One massage venue recently added an alleged indication on their website as to whether or not individual boys were available or busy. Someone apparently spent hours tracking the system and wrote a feverish report exposing the inaccuracy of the information. It's sex folks. It's meant to be enjoyed and savoured. If you've developed a code for how much hair boys have on their legs or how wide their shoulders are compared to their hips ... you're officially around the bend.




Body hair codes « Shamelessmack in Thailand and around

Someone really should throw some cold water on you … in a fit of virtuous community spirit.


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Hair code.It is only FETISH.

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Like others, I hardly think that the pursuit of sex is disturbing or a waste of time. The reply above sounds like the ramblings of someone who "found" religion and is ashamed of their "evil" desires.

Obviously, some members here spend more time going to bars and saunas and theatres and massage places than others, but then again I'm sure I listen to music and eat more guava than most people too. We're all different and that's just part of life's rich pagaent.

I've been living in Bangkok for almost 12 years and find myself going out to bars less and less. That initial "wow" factor has lost its charm, but every once in a while (once a month; sometimes more often, sometimes much less) I'll go out and see what's on offer. The saunas never hooked me and I still haven't warmed up to the massage places. I use to frequent the old London Theatre a bit (it's not far from where I live) and spent a few unproductive afternoons at one dark den in Saphan Khwai, but the theatres never did much for me either.

Basically, I'm looking for both good sex and companionship. I crave affection more than anything. I've found several guys over the years who have become repeat visitors to my place, three of whom I consider to be good friends. Had one guy over last night that I've known for 10 years. Every year who celebrate his birthday together. I like doing that. I'm realistic enough to realize that the money I give these guys plays a BIG part in their returning to my place again and again, but I also feel like we've become friends of sorts. It's not just the sex that bonds us. We'll go out together to eat at restaurants, go bowling, see a band play at a bar, see a movie. Just normal stuff.

I won't lie; the availability of attractive younger guys was a big motivation for me moving here, but I also fell in love with other things about Thailand; the culture, the food, the people, and the laid back atmosphere. I shudder to think at the thought of living back in the USA again. No way. Thailand is my home now and I truly feel comfortable here.

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Hearty agreement here. Don't forget the tropical climate if you are a heat freak like me!

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Which was largely my point. There's a lot on offer in Thailand and in our individual lives regardless of where we are living, in addition to the eye candy that is so readily available.

I too was overwhelmed when I first came here on holiday and discovered gogo bars and "a special boy."

I bought a condo here, spent as much as 3 or 4 months a year here and eventually settled here more or less permanently.

My life has revolved largely around 3 guys who I've had as long term friends in succession, a small groups of guys who I see fairly frequently, but just as very short-term encounters and the occasional foray into the bars in Bangkok or Pattaya.

I am sure most of us keep all of this in perspective and the "wow factor" has faded over the years, but there are times (maybe it's the phases of the moon ??) when I seem to be driven to hit the bars and massage places looking for something ... probably as you mention, affection and a personal, intimate interaction ... and wonder if I am overlooking what I already have ... a really wonderful longterm relationship and several other guys whose occasional "companionship" is always fun.

It's unfortunate that some people view my comments as a threat to their way of life. We probably have more in common than they realize. Just as we offer advice on the bars and massage venues, maybe we can sometimes help one another to avoid being carried away by it all.

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My one and only visit to Bangkok brought about a very interesting interaction with the bellman. After placing my bags, rather than the usual thing about getting ice, etc, he inquired if I was into boys or girls and said he could help me find either. This was not some whore house. I believe it was the Shangri-La. I certainly came to realize the Thai operate with a different attitude about sexuality. I can see where it would be intoxicating to a foreigner. In the end, though, the extreme heat of the climate and the pollution and noise of the city kept me out for more than a few days. Which reminds me: another visit is long overdue!

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And thank you to sextile and others for your detailed reports, your efforts are greatly appreciated.

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