Now, this is where your reflexes kicked in. (And mine, too.)

At the time when you and I started messing around with the guys, this was a 'no-do'. Sure, people did it nonetheless, but we also spent quite some time and energy to make sure that we do not get caught. They say that necessity is mother of invention, right?

Most other dudes never needed to develop such reflexes. Their experience told them that they were the 'golden' boys, the mainstream. No matter what they did sexually, it was OK. This was something they were boasting about in the sports bar anyway...

So, they have never been on the run. Actually, they even do not know how it is to be on the run. Until one day, the sky comes falling on them...

KD

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About straight men who chase women some did actually make an effort to cover their tracks while others did have that sort of hubris. Think of Gary Hart, who essentially dared the press to find evidence of his affair.

Other prominent ostensibly straight celebrities got a sort of "free pass" in Hollywood if they played the game and took a girlfriend ("beard") to dates, parties, galas, etc., and she might have been lesbian or bisexual, too. It's really fascinating how many Hollywood people were what we now would call bi, although that label would seem odd to them and in their context to me, too. They simply lived their lives and loved and played with whoever they wanted to.

Similarly, straight politicians used to get a "free pass" on their affairs although sometimes there was gossip, i.e., "FDR had a girlfriend and Eleanor did, too." or the talk about JFK and Marilyn, not to mention Joe Kennedy and Gloria Swanson. You didn't get to know about the gay or MSM politicians until there was a fire at DC's Follies or someone set out to expose them.

Still, the full extent of these guys' infidelities was usually not made public -- even if known to journalists -- unless it involved something egregious or a matter of state. King Edward and Wallis Warfield Simpson were a lot more important than Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles, although the latter couple were (and are) in the current "age of no secrets."

The thing is, these days anything anyone does potentially can be made public. The public at large may not care, but some spouse or significant other might. So many people share passwords with their S/O or leave their phone sitting around for the S/O to look at. Anyone who does that should not be surprised at whatever happens.

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Wikipedia says that Ashley Madison had stunning 39 Mio clients worldwide. No doubt, a few, even quite a few men (out of the mind-boggling 39 Mio.) may have tried their best to hide their identities. Judging by the recent press coverage, very, very few actually did. We can talk about the case of universal hubris here.

I imagine that most adults pretty much tend to run their affairs within certain parameters of an established pattern of behavior. Say, I am a gay guy out and about. I do not fly the rainbow flag, and do not go around telling people who I barely know that I am gay. Yet, if I meet a guy I am interested in, I'd give him my private cell, and not the one I use for business. Actually, there is little or no reason for this. But, this would be an automatic reaction probably originating in the times when we used to have P.O.B. addresses in order to make sure that no one gets our possibly compromising mail, porn mags, VHS cassettes with gay porn on it, etc.

There has always been a sort of an unspoken and unwritten but very much respected non-aggression pact between the press corps on one side, and the prominent members of the Hollywood elite and political establishment on the other side. All parties understood only too soon and too well that they have been living pretty well off each other's endeavors. So, everyone drew a certain line which no one really wanted to cross. Doing so would have been both counterproductive and damaging to the common, system maintenance related cause.

This chummy relationship was really made possible by the fact that the media used to be controlled by a limited number of people who all largely agreed to play by a certain rulebook.

The universal access to the web, and the uncontrollable flow of information have changed all of this. The age of no secrets, as you have rightly named it here, seems to be doing well, and is showing no signs of going anywhere any time soon.

KD

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Part of me is constantly stunned and amazed by how ignorant people are of how the Internet works and that what you put out there may stay out there, even if you delete it or have it deleted for you.

And of course, part of me is never, ever amazed at all about the ignorance of people and what they think they can make "go away" once they've said it or written it or posted it or tweeted it.

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It amazes me how many times you see pictures - clearly guys in a college dorm or some such set up - naked - hard and showing their face.

As you say - those pictures will exist somewhere forever. And even if you did not post it with your name - somewhere - someday - somehow - someone will recognize you.

It is like these guys think no one will ever know - and these days one of the first things HR people do when you interview for a job is "google" you - and if the first results are your dick pic or you face down drunk at a party - that is not going to help your chances.

I love looking at all the pictures - but I like to think if we had digital cameras and the Internet when I was in college I at least would have made sure not to have my face and dick in the same picture!

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Maybe a time is coming in the not-so-distant future when virtually everyone's dicks or boobs or sex tapes or whatever will be available on the Internet, just like looking up their phone number used to be back in the day. (I'm sorry that I cannot type this in a way that conveys the ironic/amused/not-quite-snarky tone of voice in my mind, and emoticons don't quite do the trick...)

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I believe that most guys do know. Sure, a few folks out there are patently dumb but the majority should know better.

I see Infopop's point, too. If very many people do it, then it becomes a sort of default to be expected, and lived with if not always approved of.

On some level, this may be the majority's backlash at the idea that employers should be allowed to control our private lives.

My old folks who used to run a sizeable business of their own in their time and day used to say, 'if you do not let the kid to run wild while at college and/or while young, he'd go wild on you when he starts working and has his family to support - a much worse of an option.

KD

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It would be fun - be able to see myself in my "prime" - or maybe it would just make me feel old!

We did take Polaroids a few times - but always quickly destroyed them as they were to easy to be found. Would have been a lot easier in the age of digital photography!

I just find it funny to see guys that would probably freak out at the idea of using open showers in the dorm but yet will post a cock picture on the Internet.

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