Ever since I was 7 or 8 I have really liked pooping outdoors. I still to this day at 31, love to drop my pants in the woods and poop outside. I really get off on the sensation of sitting on a downed tree with my butt hanging off the edge and pushing out a poop. Is there something wrong with me? It probably has something to do with what we did growing up. As a young boy me and my friends thought nothing of pooping in the woods in front of each other, sometimes comparing the size of each others poop.

Why, yes... You are, in fact, a freak.

You already knew that, though.

While it is impossible to take this seriously, and while I suspect this is probably just a joke, I will be obnoxious and offer you some practical advice to take into consideration the next time you feel like taking a dump in the woods:

"Leaves of three, let it be."

And also, do remember the cardinal rule when hiking in an ecologically preserved area: if you pack it in, you must pack it out. Good luck with that.

I hope this helps.

Geez, most of us guys just write our names in the snow...

Ah, those cherished memories of childhood. "Dad what was your most favorite thing to do as a kid?" "Well, son, we didn't have all those video games like you do. What my friends and I loved to do was go out in the woods, pull down our pants and take a crap!! Gee, I really miss those days."

No, you're not a freak. Just a little more fascinated than most with the human body's waste excretion methods. No worse than buddies having pissing contests or tandem pissing. And your hobby makes it a little harder to accidentally involve an electric fence in the mix. So it could be safer than the traditional pissing contest.

If you enjoy using the woods as your toilet, maybe you would enjoy hiking naked. Some of the same fun but without the need for charmin.

In addition to avoiding the "3-leaves", learn to recognize poison oak. I'd hate you to have to explain to your doc why your cheeks are rosy with poison oak rash, but your hands are rash-free.

-that the ever self-righteous, pompous windbag ScruffyCub has once again blessed us all with his "wisdom". For god's sake anyone on this board is a "freak" of some sort. Join the club Scruffy. Your shit -in the woods or in the toilet, stinks as much as anyone's. Frankly, your posts all over this damn board reek of your whiny, bitchy complaining about everyone and everything except yourself that it is truly hard to imagine you even have a life away from your keyboard.
Now go ahead and slam me. Have me banned from the board. But know this in advance. I've left the room and couldn't give a rat's ass because after your 780 or some odd posts it's frankly a stinking cesspool all about you anyway.

A person's preoccupation with defecating in the great outdoors would not seem to be freaky. But, I'd be alarmed if this preoccupation became an obsession such as waking up in the middle of the night, taking a dump on your neighbor's prize-winning hybrid Tea Roses, and then letting the neighbor's dog take the blame.

Are you a freak? You might be a freak if taking a dump in the great outdoors is more appetizing than buying a happy meal at McDonalds.

__________________
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. And, under a just God, cannot long retain it.

-- Abraham Lincoln

Freak?

I always assumed people who like to go camping do it so they can crap in the woods. Most of my friends like to go camping. It's not my cup of tea, for a number of reasons, crapping in the woods and risking poison oak ass high among them.

But to each his own.

I am serious and this is not a joke. I really enjoy the feeling of a large poop sliding out of my ass, reminds me of a hard dick. And I`ll tell you it`s safer pooping outside using napkins to wipe then it is to sit on some public toilets. I work on the road all day and I see some nasty bathrooms, so I just pull over in a nice wooded area, find a branch or log to sit on and push one out in the woods. I guess the thought of someone seeing me is a turn on as well.

It was a JOKE, Maninasses, you supremely ignorant fuckwad.

Only an imbecile wouldn't have known that.

As if I'm about to ignore a perfectly good set up: a guy gets off making doodies outside, gets online to talk about it and ask other folks their opinion -- he's going to certainly find out that some people do, in fact, believe he's a freak.

Does this mean he's a bad person? Does it mean he needs psychotherapy? Does it mean anything at all other than fact that he's a freak? Not really.

This dude crapping in the woods isn't hurting anyone. It is people like you who are destroying the fabric of society. It's the politically correct dementia that is eating your brain, compelling you to come to a message board and post some blathering, inane, hyper drivel about how awful it was of me to offend the sensibilities of a scatologist.

Get fucking bent, you asshole.

Go march on Washington carrying a sign that begs for the national recognition of the rights of those who like to shit in the forest.

Perhaps this will be a more constructive use of your time -- you could accomplish something, maybe get some legislation in the works. We ALL have an inalienable right to squeeze out logs in the woods, and by God, no one should EVER have to worry about being criticized for that! Dumpers, unite!

Really, dude... you're kidding, right?

The truth is, I bother you. Awww... poor baby. You don't like me and were just waiting for me to post something that you could pounce on.

Wassa matter? Couldn't find anything in all the posts I wrote which exhibit kindness and compassion for people in need? Nothing there to offend you? You had to stretch the limits of indignation with something as absurdly ridiculous as THIS? A classic POOP JOKE?

Dude... that's SO FUCKING SAD!

Ah, but you won't read any of this. You said so yourself. You just hopped over, wrote hateful stuff, and then told us all you were going to run away. You invited me to slam you because you know I CAN and I WILL -- but you wanted me to know in advance that you won't read it.

Wow...

Gee, I don't have the power to get anyone banned, dude. So sorry to disappoint you. And for the record, nearly eight hundred posts isn't any big deal, though I plan to do something silly and obnoxious when I get to one thousand, just for fun. It took almost two years to post that many responses. It's a hobby -- get over it.

You aren't unique, you know -- little, creepy, wormy guys like you slither all over the net. EVERY forum has one or two folks who post an awful lot. Here... it just so happens to be me. And in EVERY forum, there are dudes like you who get uptight about this, despising the opinions of someone else and getting riled beyond belief because YOU ARE POWERLESS TO CENSOR US.

And THAT is what REALLY gets under your skin. You can't shut up the people you desire to shut up. Folks like you would enjoy a world where the only opinions allowed are the same opinions you hold in high regard and esteem. Well, guess what, dude -- that's not the world we live in. Better get used to it. Go move to Russia. Or maybe Palestine. I hear they are looking for someone to head up the PLO. Maybe you could put in an application and get an interview.

It was a POOP JOKE, for crying out loud.

It's been a long time since I've been flamed, but I have to give you credit -- I don't think anyone has EVER flamed me for anything so blatantly insipid and utterly meaningless. I mean, at least most arguments stem from SERIOUS topics which actually merit some debate. But THIS, of all things? Poopies?

How fucking very lame of you, dude.

Yep, I'm opinionated. Yep, I can be arrogant. Yep, I spend a good half hour daily here. Yep, I'm obnoxious. Yep, I'm not afraid to say what I think.

Bet you wish you had that kind of courage, huh? But you do not. You post a flame and run away. That's really, truly very sad.

I know who I am -- I know I'm a good guy. I know I've helped FAR more people than I've ever offended.

And you know, when a person has been doing something like this for eighteen years of however the fuck long it's been that I've been fiddling with online message boards, one is apt to become rather skilled at it. It's similar to learning a craft -- you get better the more you do it. I do believe it is still appropriate for individuals to showcase their own talents. It isn't "wrong" for people to understand their own skills and call attention to them. This is, in fact, a vital step in the continued advancement of society: those who contribute their skills encourage others to do the same.

Maybe you should try that sometime.

What a darn shame. We've all been getting along so well lately, too. Party pooper.

Oh, well... long time no flame. Thanks. It was fun. My ego is undamaged by you. But then again, I am quite sure you never truly believed YOU had the capacity to truly get under my skin, did you? Nah. Not possible.

Lighten up, dude -- unbunch your panties and have some fun for once in your life. Try pooping out in the woods -- I am quite sure it will loosen you up. Then again, it's evident from your pathetic little rant that a dude like you clearly hasn't taken a satisfying shit in probably many years.

Try a high colonic. They're good for anal-retentiveness.

Be more like Dave, who gets off crapping outside. At least he's having fun with what he enjoys and isn't afraid to admit it.

Sorry to everyone else -- but honestly, just a LITTLE sorry. Maninasses deserved this.

And do note: if this guy gets to call me names, I get to respond in kind. It's only fair.