[marcoslos]

I posted this same thread in another forum and I was ripped apart for being to shallow.
I basically know everyone here,MarcoSolos, lost my ID.
Here goes.
(what do you think?)
I was in the grocery store today and noticed an extremely handsome man(great body.pecs,ass,etc) and he was holding hands and cooing (straight talk) with an embaressingly ugly women (am I the only one who has seen this?),
My question is I don't get it?
(and this is where I got in trouble)Is this the reason why straight men are Gay for Pay? because someone (or anyone) attracttive wants to worship there body? You know an ego thing?
The reason I'm asking is I got a thing for a straight man in a gay world and I think I got him.
So much for relationships.

[mascguybost]

I'm a little confused at what you're getting at, but I'll do my best to give my thoughts.

As for the hot guy with an unattractive woman, well, I do see that often, but I also see it with all types of couples, gay, lesbian and straight. I think we see it more with straight couples because one, there are more of them than gay couples so chances of seeing that increase, and second, straight people have very different agendas when picking a mate and I think physical attractiveness takes a back seat to dependability, stability, monogamy, financial security and what not since they are usually looking to build a life suitable for a family. Not that gay men aren't looking for that either, but in my limited experience in the world, as we can only judge by our own experience and it's quite small in the big picture, I think that gay men can make physical attractiveness and sex appeal more of a priority since our goals are more companion orientated and we have a very sexualized culture, much more than heterosexuals. Given the recent events here in my home state with gay marriage being legal, I'm curious to see if this changes at all.

Does this lead the hot straight guy to go gay for pay? I think not. Really, if he's that hot, he can easily get some hot pussy if he so desires, he doesn't have to resort to stripping at gay clubs. If he does choose that, I would bet it's more for the "pay" part. Of course, lot's of people using their bodies to make money get an ego boost out of it and it's probably part of the whole package that keeps them at it.

[KewlDewd66]

The safe guess here is that we will never really know. Simply because a set of very different conditions might be producing very similar results

I very much agree with MGB that heterosexual couples as opposed to gay folks have a somewhat different agenda. The differences might not be overwhelming since we still share the same social condtions, but gays do tend to have a different set of objectives and would be usually having a different family/home set up. This changes a lot, if not always everything.

I hate to disappoint the original poster but I too, share MGB's view that a very hot str8 dude really has no problems in easily and quickly finding a suitable girl for a few romps in the hay. Women might be more demanding and less willing to do it at the drop of a hat, and all. But a hot dude really faces no difficulties there. Most of my friends are straight. We do often go out and happily mix with other mostly straight people. Trust me, the really hot ones never leave the place alone.

I still have the greatest difficulty in honestly picturing a genuinely straight guy going gay for pay. IMHE, this simply does not happen. Str8 men define themselves not simply by the fact that they are attracted to the opposite sex but very much so by the fact that their sense of masculinity would never allow them to 'go gay' on their own will, no matter what.

More likely, the men with a certain bi- or homosexual tendency who would otherwise hate to admit that fact to themselves and the others, would happily go 'gay for pay'. This appears to be an old, yet both functioning and very popular solution to the problem of maintaining your heterosexual facade before yourself and the rest of the world while regularly having it your way with other guys. No one can really blame you for being 'a fag', you are only doing it for cash. In most cases, just a very scared, closeted individual is successfully assuming the role of a much sought after str8 dude who is messing around with other men while remaining str8. For pay or not, once you start regularly having sex with other men, you are homosexual.

KD

[hump_me]

Wow, I know this may sound overly simplistic and all, but maybe they just love each other, and neither would ever think of messing around with another person, straight or gay. Oddly enough, believe it or not, it happens. Some people just fall in love with someone, and don't give a shit whether you or anyone else thinks they're physically attractive or not.

[Int2ectual]

well i have always been suspicious that handsome men with ugly women are really in the closet gay men. at least i have run into such a combo several times. these girls are so thankful to have a man that they don't complain about the dry spells. o.k. that is a horrible sexist thing to say but it does reflect my personal experience. i don't think anyone goes gay for play unless they are interested in the first place.

[VirginiaGuyNow]

Maybe being bi and leaning more toward straight, I can offer another slant. First, all the answers were helpful to me as I have wondered about this (as did my late wife who was very good looking and I hope I am not ugly). I have also noticed that there are plenty of ugly men with beautiful or, at least, good looking women. I suppose they think they are in love, but bet those other characteristics mentioned above matter more. Where I see this most often is the slim or average guy with a really obese woman. That really puzzles me since these women are not just overweight, they are dangerously unhealthy.

Well, I hope it is love, but I also think that women, more than men in the USA let themselves go after marriage (and even before in some cases). They don't seem to get it that men, gay or straight, do go for looks.

Any further comments? (What is that forum where you get beat up for discussing this? I want to see that and avoid it.)

George

[queteimporta]

It seems to me that I far more often see lovely young women with men who don't don't quite hit the mark when it comes to accepted norms of what is handsome. Maybe it's because of where I live and I'm seeing aspiring models and actresses who are more interested in furthering their careers than being seen with a GQ boyfriend.

[GayWhiteTrash]

Pretty women will always go for an ugly man if his bank account is big enough. Handsome men with ugly women? I don't have a clue. Maybe those homely girls have some jam-up pussy.

[marcoslos]

Okay,
Iwill spell it out for you(I'm trually not trying to be judgemental)
But how often do you see a fantastic looking man (I know I will get shit for this) with an average guy(without money being exchanged).
We as average gay men,tend to look for looks first,yet we denie
our insides (you know love).
If you are fortunate to "score" with someone more than you are equal to,and obviously we tend to think higher than our expectations,then why do we have tolerance for straight guys who seem to have our same insecurities?

[mascguybost]

Marco, not giving you shit at all, but that's a very cynical view to think that couples who are unbalanced in the attractiveness department are about an exchange of money. I really think it's just we fall for who we fall for, chemistry is key and you never now who you'll find it with.

When looking for just fucking, yeah, I want a hottie, and I understand about feeling like we have higher expectations. At times I feel like I'm getting a deal and sometimes feel like the other guy is. But you know what? I've had really hot sex with "average" guys and awful sex with hot guys. Again, the chemistry plays a huge role, even in the anonymous world of fucking.

As for the tolerance of straight guys insecurities, I may be thinking too positively here, but I think just guy to guy, we all feel for each other about that stuff, regardless of sexual orientation.

Usually, and no offense to you Marco, if a guy is thinking it must be for money, it's reallyl about them and not the couple. Bitterness from being hurt, rejected and not dealing with those feelings can lead to thoughts like that.

[RuggerAl]

Me and my brother had a discussion on this as well as some gay friends. It is all about not agendas but goals and ideals. They asked my brother, about dating an overweight girl and not so attractive, he said what is she like... wanted to know personality etc... People just have different ideas of what they are looking for. People then search for that- or it just doesn't matter until they rn into it.. My bro is not always on the chase for tail... and when he finds a girl he might like he is patient and just kinda sees how it goes. I don't know just depends on what youre looking for.. if looks are all that matter than that is what you will find.. Just don't have your standards to high in either direction or else you might just be alone.